Monday, October 02, 2017

The 'Gays Will Marry Your Girlfriends' war, as told by the queer Ken Burns (me)

Tomorrow, I intend to get back to the work of this blog - going after and calling out the anti-LGBTQ industry. Today is a special circumstance. I felt that not only my LGBTQ brothers and sisters but all of my brothers and sisters needed something light and downright silly to combat the tragedy of Las Vegas. Those who feel drained by man's inhumanity to each other, please don't feel alone. I've felt drained all day and even found myself acting out in a manner and place I would have never dreamed I would.

So I want to continue my look at comedy, this time regarding marriage equality. First, allow me to give a little background. Back in the day, there was something called an "answer song." Wikipedia defines it as "a song (usually a recorded track) made in answer to a previous song, normally by another artist. It is also known as an answer record. The concept became widespread in blues and R&B recorded music in the 1930s through 1950s. Answer songs were also extremely popular in country music in the 1950s and 1960s, most often as female responses to an original hit by a male artist."

In the 1980s, it was best defined by the infamous, yet unheard of by the mainstream population, "Roxanne Wars.," hip-hop feud which allegedly saw 30 to 100 answer records made. (See, you just learned some history.)

With today's technology, we have things called "answer videos," which are pretty much the same thing as "answer songs." The following video "Gay Guys Will Marry Your Girlfriend" was made during the marriage equality fight. It was witty and hilarious. But little did we know that a few folks had something to say about it:

First the video:

Then heterosexual men called our bluff:

 Then our sisters, the lesbian population, came to our defense:

Now with all of this talking, you just KNOW that the heterosexual sisters had got something to say. And they were NOT happy:

And now the heterosexual men are in a doghouse. And who do they reach out to to get them out of trouble? Who else but us gay men. And as a show of good faith, we reveal certain powers that we've always had:

At this point, I want to say that all of this is strictly tongue-in-cheek. I don't mean any disrespect. In fact, I'm merely sitting in a corner drinking from a huge pot of tea with the tiniest immersion of vodka.  You will remember that in my last post, I said I was imitating Joan Crawford. I even sneaked a tiny pill in. At this stage, I'm also appropriating a little Judy Garland.

Today's news briefs will be about joy, happiness, and laughter

I suppose I just can't hop into bed and wish that this day was over. Or better yet, grow translucent wings, gain a magic wand, and the power to keep the events of the Las Vegas shooting from happening.

I can't preach or talk about anything in my usual critical stance, folks. Nor do I feel like putting out news briefs. God, I feel so very bad over the entire thing. It's a kind of sadness that takes away all of your purpose and makes you ask why. Nothing else. Just why.

But I find that when things like this happen, it helps to let the feeling wash over you. Don't try to keep them inside. And do something light. This morning I think I listened to Fleetwood Mac's 'Dreams' about five or six times (so I have a thing with Stevie Nicks. Sue me.)

Also, at the very least, if I can't provide words, at least I can provide a bit of solace in my own way. This is my blog but consider it backstage at the Oscars in the past and me as Joan Crawford bringing my bar with all of the fixings (research the damn thing. I can't explain everything to y'all). But instead of alcohol, I bring some comedy clips. Enjoy them. Get offended. Laugh your ass off. Just do anything to bring out your emotions. Everyone is welcomed:

Equality Forum's list of LGBT heroes a diverse, controversial group

Editor's note - All of my prayers go out to the victims of the recent shooting in Las Vegas. And I implore everyone not to jump to any conclusion. Let's get the facts.

October is LGBT History Month, so here are the Equality Forum's list of LGBT Heroes (which one day will include me). Some you may agree with. Others may upset you. Others you may not have even  known about: