Moving closer to the Rubicon

Saturday night, I had a crisis involving my book.

In looking over my author’s copy, I thought I had omitted two letters from a source. Normally, this would still be a huge error as far as I am concerned, but in this particular case, the two letters changed the name of my source considerably. This would make the error a calamity of Biblical proportions (and I am not exaggerating).

My mother thought I had finally gone off the deep end as I went through my notes like a madman, muttering to myself. She was ready to get on the phone to State Hospital when I found the notes I needed. My laugh of relief was something out of the ending of a horror movie where you find out that the psychopath not only lived but has the heroine trapped.

To her, I sounded like that psychopath.

As you can tell by that last paragraph, I not only found what I was looking for, but as it turns out, I was correct about the name of my source.

Problem solved. But new problem develops. Or to be more specific, an underlaying problem rises to the surface.

My mad search over a source Saturday night accentuated a fear I have kept since starting this project.

I have read and re-read. I have edited and re-edited. I have checked and checked and checked everything repeatedly. Tomorrow, I fax the final approval form to the publisher so that the book will be on sale hopefully by next month.

And I am scared to death about what is going to happen next.

Will this book be successful or will it fail? Will my lgbt brothers and sisters gravitate towards it or ignore it?

Can this book make at least a small difference in how we have been lied on?

I am walking into the unknown and all I can do is what I have been doing for the past three and a half years, which is pray.

But whatever you do, don’t tell Peter LaBarbera.

He probably thinks gay folks don’t pray.