Monday, October 25, 2010

The lgbt community should NOT sit this election out

According to the Associated Press, a lot of lgbts are angry at the Democratic Party to the point that some are thinking of either not voting or sitting this election out:

If Democratic candidates are counting on long-standing support from gay voters to help stave off big losses on Nov. 2, they could be in for a surprise.

Across the country, activists say gay voters are angry — at the lack of progress on issues from eliminating employment discrimination to uncertainty over serving in the military to the economy — and some are choosing to sit out this election or look for other candidates.

Let me make this short and sweet. Any lgbt thinking of sitting this election out should think long and hard about whether it is a wise thing to do for the community. I say that on the basic principle that no American at any time should surrender his or her right to vote.  Me as an African-American will never do that no matter how angry I feel.

Too many people have suffered beatings, humiliation, and even death for me to vote. For me not to vote would be spitting in their face.

But as a gay man, while I'm not happy with the progress of the Obama Administration on the BIG issues (i.e. DOMA, DADT), there is something nagging me extremely.

The lgbt community has had a wonderful year. Prop 8 was overturned, the Florida anti-gay adoption law is gone, the exposure of George Rekers opened so many's eyes to religious right junk science, the nation rallied around our youth when those awful suicides took place, and this week will mark one year since lgbt-inclusive hate crimes legislation was signed into law.

I have a serious problem reducing all of the positives of this year to one big minus simply because of DOMA and DADT.

I have a serious problem getting angry at the Democrats so much that I am willing to sacrifice our momentum.

But mostly, I have a serious problem with our community getting so angry at what Obama didn't accomplish that we ignore what we did accomplish. Please notice I said we as in the lgbt community and our allies

It would be nice that with a simple stroke of a pen, our lives would get better, but it's not going to happen that way. Even if DOMA and DADT was overturned, we are still going to have to deal with ignorance and prejudice. Our children are still going to have to deal with bullying. We are still going to have to deal with those who seek to either trivialize our lives or bash in our skulls.

All of this took place before the Obama Presidency and it will continue after his presidency. The only reason why there have been positive changes is because we took the initiative to make those changes.

And I guess that's my reason for getting angry at folks threatening to sit out on election day. To me, not voting is the same as cowering when someone threatens you. And this time's it's not necessarily a person making the threats but the circumstances of the times. But as quickly as a coward runs home when threatened by a bully, some of us are retreating into our safe zones, ready to give up our advantage (because we do have one) simply because our anger.

There should be a bit more understanding and an appreciation that the BIG issues are not the only ones affecting the lgbt community and that there are some who not affected by the BIG issues at all. I know many young black gay men who could care less about DADT but was floored by the fact that Obama took time out to speak to youths about bullying. To them, it was the first time they ever saw a president and a black man being publicly supportive.

Some victories may come fast, others will take time, but we are winning.

This by no means is a defense of the Obama Administration or the Democrats, but an attack on how the lgbt community is yet again "reacting."

For me, it mostly comes down to this:

We reacted because the police kept harassing us as Stonewall,

We reacted because Anita Bryant told those lies about us in the 70's,

We reacted because of the AIDS crisis,

We reacted because of the Proposition 8 vote.

Our history seems to be a pattern of reacting.

When you react, you lash out and are on the defensive. You are not in control of the situation because you are trying to rally yourself from whatever calamity that has been thrust upon you.

And that has been our problem.

We are constantly trying to rally ourselves after being slapped. We wait until we have been wronged before we act and then we try to take care of the situation with a rushed public display of anger. And deciding to sit this election out is the ultimate rushed public display of anger. Refusing to vote would do nothing but surrender our advantage, not to mention send a negative message to the many lgbt candidates running for office (another victory we seem to forget about in the midst of our anti-Obama gripefest).

One level, we do come across as a community with legitimate grievances (because our anger and frustration are legitimate), but on another level, we come across as a community willing to cut our noses off to spite our faces simply because we want things NOW.

But basically, I'm saying this - don't sit this election out because if we don't vote because we haven't gotten what we wanted, then we deserve whatever we get.



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10 comments:

  1. spot-on, once again
    thanks

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  2. There are three reasons this piece makes me angry:

    1) I voted. I disagree with those who are sitting out this election, but you completely ignore the problem raised by the AP article you're responding to. If we reward the Democrats with our votes at this point, how do we send the message that we demand to be treated as equal citizens? And why are they the gay people who make you angry? Not conservatives like GOProud, which is running ads against gay candidates. Not traitors like Jonathan Capeheart, who works daily against the cause of gay equalty by excusing everything anti-gay thing the Obama White House does.

    2) The Obama administration's focus on "small things" cannnot be separated from their utter lack of interest in attacking big things. If they were actually interested in ENDA or marriage equality for all Americans, they would not be wasting time making changes for ferderal employees that should apply to all American workers. The small things are part a strategy to placate us while doing nothing on big things. Why you think passing ENDA or repealing DOMA would make no difference to the kids you're talking to is incomprehensible, and your failure to explain to them how they would effect them, if such conversations actually happen, is completely irresponsible.

    3) Anybody who looks at the last six weeks and concludes that it has been "a great year" for LGBT people apparently does not care very much about the kids who killed themselves. I would so much rather NOT have the celebrity videos and have those kids back alive. Our community is in crisis. This year has shown remarkable progress, but no community has a "great year" when its kids are killing themselves.

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  3. Vector, I know many lgbt kids who don't know doma from dadt but they know that the president talked to them. Also, your anger is what I am talking about. There is so much of that in our community that we can't think on the right course of action. The world is going to turn whether we sulk or vote and plan rather than wait for things to be given to us. What are u prepared to do about it?

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  4. this was great and real... Thank you

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  5. Did you read past the first sentence of my comment? I voted in the 2010 midterm election already. I call my legislators often. You are happy to sacrifice the lives of gay kids to get a nice video message from the White House. Our lives are worth more than that.

    Yeah, kids are ignorant about politics. Please explain why YOU think a video message is just as good as actual progress toward repealing ENDA.

    What are YOU doing to keep this administration from being a replay of the Clinton years?

    Some of remember history, are watching it repeat itself, and are furious about it. We ain't the problem.

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  6. We aren't the problem, but we aren't the solution and that's a problem. At least not with the anger and rage you are showing. It's good but too many times in our community it gets counterproductive because we lash at each other. Like you have done to me twice implying that I am willing to sacrifice children. It's an ignorant statement that you only gleaned because you didn't like what I wrote. Take a step back for a moment and read what you said.

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  7. You proclaimed this a great year for gay people. I think, giving the events of the last six weeks, that goes beyond insensitive to sick. Please point me to anything you have written that indicates in any way that you think the loss of life is not worth it to get these cool videos from celebrities.

    You are the one started this exchange by lashing out at people who are angrier than you. You started from a place of anger at people who don't see things exactly as you do.

    You are getting some unfair criticism. Not from me.

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  8. No anger here, just weariness of the same routine. Also, I won't show sorrow over those suicides to your specifications. I did call them awful but I can remember gay children committing suicide and no one caring. So this turnaround is good and can prevent future suicides.

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  9. Actually, you wrote, "And I guess that's my reason for getting angry at folks threatening to sit out on election day." so. . . yeah, you claimed, at least, to be writing out of anger.

    I certainly don't think you don't regret the loss of life. And I know we've both spent time grieving privately for gay kids who killed themselves before it was in the headlines. And I think we both despair over kids whose deaths are routinely ignored, even today-- kids of color, the transgendered, the differently-abled.

    But, yeah, in listing that as one of the factors that has made this a wonderful year for gay people-- which was the context in which you brought it up-- you are saying that the sympathetic response outweighs the deaths. There couldn't have been a civil rights movement without Emmett Till, but you would make me just as angry if you wrote that the response to his death outweighed his life.

    Please point to an example of this White House paying attention to one of its constituencies without threats being made. Honestly-- can you think of any? They have a problem with taking their friends for granted that goes far beyond the gay community.

    You think people should not threaten not to vote. Okay. How to you suggest we communicate that what has happened so far is not okay? Support your strategy by pointing to an example where a similar one has been effective with the current Washington leadership. Or admit that you have little more productive to offer than the people you are attacking.

    And-- again-- those people aren't me. Everyone should vote. But gay anger AT gay anger? That's divisive and counterproductive, sir.

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  10. I can get frustrated and angry at whomever I want my friend. And it is not counterproductive at all. U threw a lot of questions out so allow me to get to them. Again I said that my column is not a defense of obama but criticism of the knee jerk anger of our community when things don't go our way. And about solutions, how about a little self education on all of our community, black and white. How about the elimination of cliques, how about educating ourselves on the black civil rights movement before we make references, how about pushing a diversity of spokespeople to the forefront, how about not painting people as bigots but instead demonstrating how bigoted they are, how abot not bickering over little points and and showing some organization and discipline. Have I touched on enough for u?

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