Same-sex families are growing rapidly, can no longer be ignored

Not too many people are aware of this, but the idea of same-sex families is the proverbial "third rail" for those who fight against marriage equality.

The very existence of these families does more to negate their arguments about "marriage being about the procreation and protection of children" than anything ever said by the lgbt community and our allies.

Therefore, it's not accidental when organizations like the National Organization for Marriage either ignore these families or trivialize them as "untested social experiments."

However, a recent article in The New York Times is serving NOM and other members of the religious right notice to the fact that they cannot continue to push aside same-sex families. From the article, we learn that not only are same-sex families growing in Southern states, but these families are comprised of people of color:

 . . . child rearing among same-sex couples is more common in the South than in any other region of the country, according to Gary Gates, a demographer at the University of California, Los Angeles. Gay couples in Southern states like Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi and Texas are more likely to be raising children than their counterparts on the West Coast, in New York and in New England.

The pattern, identified by Mr. Gates, is also notable because the families in this region defy the stereotype of a mainstream gay America that is white, affluent, urban and living in the Northeast or on the West Coast.

“We’re starting to see that the gay community is very diverse,” said Bob Witeck, chief executive of Witeck-Combs Communications, which helped market the census to gay people. “We’re not all rich white guys.”

Black or Latino gay couples are twice as likely as whites to be raising children, according to Mr. Gates, who used data from a Census Bureau sampling known as the American Community Survey. They are also more likely than their white counterparts to be struggling economically.

Experts offer theories for the pattern. A large number of gay couples, possibly a majority, entered into their current relationship after first having children with partners in heterosexual relationships, Mr. Gates said. That seemed to be the case for many blacks and Latinos in Jacksonville, for whom church disapproval weighed heavily.

“People grew up in church, so a lot of us lived in shame,” said Darlene Maffett, 43, a Jacksonville resident, who had two children in eight years of marriage before coming out in 2002. “What did we do? We wandered around lost. We married men, and then couldn’t understand why every night we had a headache.”

The bottom line is steadily becoming this - in the argument over marriage equality, same-sex couples and the children they are raising cannot be pushed aside or trivialized as "untested social experiments." Whether those against marriage equality and same-sex household like it or not,  there isn't a talking point in existence which will make these families disappear.


Related post:

NOM needs to stop peddling in fantasy and face reality about same-sex families