This means a huge smile has crossed over my face. Anything that drives the religious right nuts is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. And for the longest time, Jennings and GLSEN has been the unremovable pebble in the religious right's shoe.
GLSEN deals with the safety of lgbt students and also helped to found the Day of Silence, an annual event commemorating the struggles of our lgbt youth in America's schools.
The Day of Silence has been an annual humbling event for the religious right. They have tried many times to undermine the event from creating an unsuccessful counterpart event (the Day of Truth) to encouraging parents to keep children out of school during the Day of Silence; a bigger flop than the Day of Truth.
Today, One News Now published an article criticizing the appointment via the words of anti-gay activist and Mission America head Linda Harvey:
A conservative activist says the appointment of the founder of the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network to head the U.S. Education Department's Office of Safe Schools is the equivalent of putting O.J. Simpson in charge of women's safety.
Harvey, who by the way is a former advertising executive before forming Mission America - meaning she has no credibility to make any comments about Jennings's appointment, referred to an alleged event that took place under the auspicies of GLSEN:
Harvey finds it ironic that President Obama's new "safe schools" czar is a leading proponent of an extremely unsafe, destructive lifestyle.
"They are the people involved in the infamous 'Fistgate' programs in Massachusetts where public health officials were describing dangerous, high-risk behaviors to very young teenagers," she says. "Again, this was a GLSEN-sponsored program."
Our favorite anti-gay spokesperson, Peter LaBarbera, made a comment about the same event:
GLSEN founder who presided over ‘Fistgate’ scandal; Jennings’ group has corrupted and endangered students by exposing them to “queer” perversions
I've heard about this "Fistgate" several times when trolling anti-gay sites. Apparently religious right supporters reference the event as proof that gays are allegedly trying to lead children into dangerous acts.
Like all claims of the religious right, "Fistgate" is a huge lie.
The first thing you need to know is that this situation was blown out of proportion by a familiar person - Brian Camenker of Mass Resistance.
Mass Resistance was the group behind the David Parker controversy, in which a parent, David Paker, falsely claimed that he was arrested for trying to keep his son from being taught homosexuality.
The truth was a bit more complicated. If you want to read the full story, go here.
But the story in a nutshell is that Parker and Camenker worked together to orchestate a situation in which Parker was arrested and Camenker was there to take pictures and spread his version of the story.
"Fistgate" was not as complicated but it is still a nasty situation.
First of all, Jennings did not "preside over" the so-called "Fistgate" scandal. He wasn't even there.
In 2000, Mass Resistance, entered unauthorized in a state conference, "Teach-Out," that was sponsored by the Massachusetts Department of Education, the Governor’s Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, and the GLSEN. This conference was held at Tufts University.
Included among the conference-goers were preadolescents, some as young as 12, who were (like the rest of Teach-Out's attendees) allowed to ask questions about sex in a safe environment.
One student asked what fisting was, and was answered with an explanation. This led the incident to be dubbed "Fistgate" by Camenker and others. A person working for Camenker's organization, Scott Whiteman, taped some of the students without their knowledge. As a result of the outcry that was generated when parents heard tapes of the event, Margot Abels, a state employee who participated in the discussion, and two other state employees were fired.
Abels later sued the Massachusetts Department of Education, Camenker, and Whiteman for "violating her civil rights and the state's antiwiretapping law."
In 2001, she was not only reinstated but was also given back pay via arbitration. The arbitrator, Marc Greenbaum ruled that:
Abels was not acting on behalf of the Department of Education, but said the department had knowledge of and "supported" her participation in the presentation.
He also said:
that her participation was "authorized by her superiors, and her conduct, while controversial, did not violate then-established department guidelines."
And here is my favorite part, regarding the tape:
He also said that the tape was "misleading" because portions of it, which contained "important messages about AIDS prevention, abstinence, postponement, alternative forms of sexual intimacy and the need for students to enforce their own boundaries of personal security," were missing.
So what this all boils down to is a case of guilt by association perpetrated by members of the religious right on Jennings. And if you don't pardon me for saying so, a very bad case of guilt by association.
Pitiful, pitiful, pitiful.
Is this the best they can do?
34 comments:
fag
I'm glad to see that my post has gotten to you ;p. Ignorant people are generally eager to show their asses.
Odd how those who want to hurl epithets at the LBGT community always want to remain anonymous. We should call them out for the cowards that they are. -- Michael Barber, Washington, DC 20009
How can you even say what you say, when the tapes are there to listen to and obviously have ZERO defense?
And how laughable that you would end with, "is that the best they can do?" No, not at all! In fact, most of us have collected several hard drives of information convicting homosexuals of everything they know they are responsible for. And rest assured, now that people are being pinched, it's all going to start meaning something got them. They've been too busy getting fat to care. When they start to see the SICK crap we have to pay for so people can play pervert in public, it will come crashing down! Like the BILLIONS we have forked to cure YOUR diseases. Like the Billions we've forked out under the guise of education and the arts. Just wait pervert boy, no ones getting upset here either, this the best environment ever to expose the perverts and slam the damn door shut once and FOR ALL! And next time, if your going to consider yourself someone to be believed, try giving people the facts. Not very many people are so proud to defend this shameful disgusting act that really YOU ALL DO EVERY WHERE EVERY DAY.
OUR disease? The last time I checked, HIV and AIDS does not discriminate.
Now I don't know just how much information you have collected on the lgbt community but based on your ramblings, it's obvious that your information is wrong.
Lastly, my friend, the subject of this blog post was the unfair blaming of Kevin Jennings and GLSEN for what happened. The so-called fistgate attack was pitiful because neither Jennings nor GLSEN had anything to do with the questions asked.
It sounds like Mass Resistance fooled you by making sure to focus on the outrage of hearing the tape rather than logically looking at who was involved in the incident.
Isn't it great that we are in America, where we can all voice our opinions about anything? First of all, I and most people who have a problem with the conference at hand AND Mr. Jennings, are NOT from the "religious right" to use your terminology. We are ordinary Americans who are concerned about the direction of morality in society at large and in the public schools specifically. Do you find that offensive? You claim that, "The so-called fistgate attack was pitiful because neither Jennings nor GLSEN had anything to do with the questions asked." True but very misleading. Mr. Jenning's organization, GLSEN, DID SPONSOR THE EVENT! Your reasoninbg is totally fallacious. You make it sound like GLSEN and Jennings had NO idea what was going to be said in the conference. If so, why hasn't Jennings come out and publicly denounce the conference and the remarks and teachings that were made there? To me, that is the most telling feature of the story. Jennings, by his silence, is condoning the disgusting behavior described in detail by the panel. Just because the gay community finds certain behaviors normal and appropriate for the youth of today does not make it so. By continuing to push your agenda in the public schools, you are opening yourself up to a backlash that will set your program back 100 years. Just as many straight people were beginning to have some sympathy for the gay people and starting to perhaps be a little more inclined to support some of the gay agenda, you ram "queerness" down the throats of their kids (pun intended) in PUBLIC school.That alone makes you an idiot. These feelings are shared by many of my gay friends who found the behavior of the panel to be "totally outrageous" as one friend put it.
I am not against homosexuality in general terms. What people do behind closed doors in their bedroom is their own business. It becomes mine when my child is given instruction in the deviant details ( how to enjoy fisting) of sex without my knowing or my permission. It doesn't matter if we are talking gay or straight sex, it is still inappropriate! It is unbelievable that the public school system allows these type of conferences. My tax dollars go to pay the salaries of the 3 administrators who led the conference, as did yours. The only difference is that my position is supported by about 85% of the population. I understand that as a gay man you feel that you have been treated unfairly in life. You also feel that it is important to teach children to be accepting of the gay lifestyle from a young age. The problem is for you that most Americans disagree and if you think ACORN being torn to shreds was something, wait until you see what happens to gay rights group who continue to push their agenda in our schools. Call it a threat if you want to, but it is reality. The American people are truly fed up and they will not stand for the type of garbage that went on in that conference any longer.
I found your long response somewhat amusing. Let me address your silly points one by one.
1. I never said that GLSEN did not sponsor the event. But I did call into question the notion that this was a GLSEN event. It was also co-sponsored by the Massachusetts Dept. of Education.
2. Jennings was not present at the time of the incident. He was not aware of what happened. The person who talked about fisting was fired but was rehired with back pay by an arbitrator for a multitude of reasons, including the fact that the taping of the incident was misleading. As I recall, Jennings did criticize the conversation but he also criticized the illegal taping of the event.
3. I think that you are under some silly impression about a few things. First of all, not all gays are into fisting but some heterosexuals are.
Secondly, I alway find it funny that ignorant people have to pull the bandwagon technique. Your platitudes about "Americans are getting tired of havins so-and-so shoved down their throats" only reveal just how weak your argument is in that you have to invent back up. Can't your argument stand on its own merits? Don't you have any guts to stand on your own rather than call an invisible posse?
4. Try to take this in and deal with it - lgbts are not going to live our lives in accordance to your ignorance. There is more to our lives than bedroom behavior. We have families, jobs and yes pay taxes also. Those tax dollars you alluded to belong to us also.
We have children in schools and our children will not be taught that their families are inferior just to suit your silly notions of superiority.
In addition, this country does not solely belong to you or folks who believe as you. You don't run a damn thing. You do not dictate policy. And you need to get over yourself.
I hope you enjoyed this verbal asswhipping as much as I enjoyed giving it to you.
The thing that I think is so sad is that a person's sexual motivations can be so important as to pre-occupy every thought they ever have in their life.
I just happen to be hetrosexual but I have much more going on in my life than that, and I certainly don't have the time to walk around telling everyone how hetrosexual I am, defending myself for it and telling others how they should not be nasty to me because I am hetro.
After all it's none of anyone else's business. We are simply not interested. And really it is just one small part of a very full life.
I feel so sorry for anyone that feels they have a need to spend their life telling everyone else how queer, gay, homosexual they are.
I don't care about your sexual inclinations. I don't have time to care about your sexual leanings. They are of absolutely no interest or importance to me, and most other people. Do you get it? I AM NOT INTERESTED!!!!
It is sad is that those people are leading such sad, unfulfilled, empty lives that they feel the need to fill their time telling everyone else about their personal tastes.
One of the first signs that people have little going on in their lives is when they feel the need to form and establish social or lifestyle groups or their own communities. They need to feel part of something to feel important and self-fulfilled.
Is there nothing more important in your life than needing to spend the time telling people about your sexual preferences?????
Have you ever thought about trying playing guitar, surfing, reading, wine tasting, stamp collecting, doing charity work, doing something to help other people, motor racing, travelling and seeing the world, running, yatch racing, mountain climbing, diving, treasure hunting, writing songs or poetry, football, painting your house, going to the museum, learning to play the piano, starting your own business, delivering meals to old people, learning phtography,doing crosswords, inventing something new, cooking, playing hockey, making a television program, getting a second or third job, listening to Carlos Santana, or even cleaning your car?
Any of the above would likely help fill your day, give you a great time, and do something positive for the world that you live in and share.
So why spend so much time going on about your sex life when there are so many other more interesting things going on?
Or could it be true that that is all you have?
The only person who has brought up sexual behavior in this matter is you.
You do have a problem with gays if you are reducing the fullness of our lives to sexual behavior.
Furthermore, people walk around declaring their heterosexuality all the time but in many other ways.
See, didn't even take that long to respond to your silliness.
BT - your last two responses to anonymous posters were weak. First let me lend support to the bandwagon, 'the other 85%' that objects to these aggressive efforts of the LBGT community to achieve acceptance. What you call normal or acceptable I find deviant and twisted. I grew up near Hollywood and have witnessed this behavior first hand. I'm not ignorant and I do understand it. Fine, its your choice, but I reject it. I don't want my children to be subjected to it until they are of an age when they can make their own decisions. If they show an interest or curiosity then we'll discuss it in context. However, sexual awareness and activity varies by the child and their emotional maturity dictates readiness. I think it emotionally harmful and inappropriate to expose the immature mind to sexual practices prematurely. Who's to say when that day is, but I think its the responsibility of the parent, not the school, to discuss these subjects in any detail.
You may think of anyone that disagrees as 'silly' but I assure you that there is a fine line between tolerance and the wrath of a protective parent. And don't fool yourself, there is a silent majority out there, witness California's Prop. 8.
But you continue to NOT get it.
We don't want your tolerance nor your acceptance. We want the rights that should be given to us as American. And when we say rights we don't mean privileges given to us based upon your benevolence or your ignorant imagination regarding what we may do in the bedroom.
And the last part of your statement demonstrates your basic ignorance. You like to make the assumption that lgbts are on one side and people with children are on another. It's always amazing to me how folks like yourself never want to acknowledge the fact that many lgbts (whether they be couples or single) are raising children.
You see, your ignorance about that one point is the entire problem with this so-called culture war. Those like yourself think that you own concepts like "families" and "values." They don't belong to you alone. Whether you like it or not, you are going to have to share those concepts with us just like you are going to have to share this country with us.
Lastly seeing that lgbts populate every state in this country, whatever you may or may not have witnessed in Hollywood is totally IRRELEVANT to this situation.
Apparently you do require tolerance or acceptance otherwise you would not be supporting the efforts of GLSEN; who's apparent purpose is to 'educate' straight children about the gay lifestyle through mandatory readings. Have you seen the reading list? Have you read these books? From what I've seen several of them are thinly veiled porn, at least suggestive and descriptive of sexual acts and leud behavior that I consider obscene. Is that really necessary at that age? Does my kid need to accept a fellow teenagers desire to sleep with multiple older men as normal, or desireable behavior? I think not.
I have good friends that are gay parents and they are more conservative than I when it comes to 'family values' or behavioral stricture. It makes me chuckle when I see them protect their children from certain TV shows (non-violent programming) because of their questionable messages.
Perhaps they are the exception but if you were a parent then I think you would also object to the content of these books. Check them out, see what Mr. Jennings considers to be acceptable for young teenagers; behavior that requires mandatory exposure at a young age. Its wrong headed.
I suggest you familiarize yourself with these books further BT, otherwise Mr. Jennings may succeed in striking a cripling blow to the efforts of the LBGT Community.
And I suggest you read the following post because I covered that issue:
http://holybulliesandheadlessmonsters.blogspot.com/2009/12/new-smear-launched-against-kevin.html
Long story short - while GLSEN suggested a list of books for students to read, the organization also suggested that adults review the list and make the choice as to which books are appropriate for students - it's a little detail that was omitted from the attack on GLSEN.
And the phony controversy about the reading list should be taken into perspective when one realizes the books that many students read in high schools, whether it be the Chocolate War or To Kill a Mockingbird (two book that were banned from several schools and two books that I read when I was in school).
I would find your tone self-righteous and infuriating if it weren't for the fact that you have no problem putting your basic ignorance of the facts on display. "Gay lifestyle?" You come across like a religious right pamphlet; a bad one at that.
And let us be judge as to what hurts our movement for equality. It's really nice of you to offer your opinion in that matter, but based on your misstatements regarding the "reading list," you don't know what you are talking about.
THANK YOU for this important post. this topic is coming up over and over today on a highly visited chat site and the right wing fringe trolls are repeatedly posting bullshit about this jennings and the fisting issue.. i've googled it and it all takes me to some stupid right wing blog that claims it happened (so it must be so!) and he links to his own blog of a dif article, to make it as if it's proof! thanks for the details on this-
It always amazes me, some of the obscure crap these bigots use against LBGTQ persons.
Next thing ya know, they'll be digging out "Two Girls One Cup" to prove how "deviant" lesbians are.
What a bunch of wingnuts!!
I'm going to go to some strip clubs and shady hang outs to get a 'control' study on heterosexuals and their lifestyle. Then maybe people can stop bitching.
I'm always amazed that gays being only 2.3 to 3.8% of the population want to push their agenda on the other 96+% of us. I DO NOT want you teaching my children about gay relationships, etc. It's not your place and you should respect other peoples wishes.
And... @ Michael Barber...posting as Anoymous means nothing more than not wanting to sign up for yet another website that you have no intention of ever posting to again.
Get a grip and stop being so paranoid
As long as lgbt children and children from same-sex households attend public schools, they have the right to learn about themselves and talk freely about their families. It is not your place to consign them to invisibility. Perhaps u need to get a grip and realize that the world does not revolve around your wishes. If u disagree then u r free to home school your children.
The desperation of those anti-gay anonymous posters just makes me shake my head and laugh.
Forty to fifty years ago the majority of you bigots would have been fighting against the repeal of anti-miscegenation laws, and you would have used the same exhausted, ridiculous arguments, just replacing references to "gays" with references to skin color.
You go right on ahead with your delusion that you're somehow in the majority and that you're going to win this fight. It's adorable! And it's good to have a dream, even if the dream is wholly unrealistic, like stopping marriage equality.
I honestly think this whole thing is just silly.
Somebody asked what 'fisting' was, and they got a (possibly rather graphic) answer. It was a mistake and I'm sure the person involved is very embarrassed. I really don't get why it's such a big deal; the kids would have found out anyways and possibly from some less-than-savoury sources (and probably without the whole 'be safe!' message)
And if straight kids can have healthy conversations with adults about safe straight sex, why can't gay kids talk about safe gay sex?
I also don't understand why Marriage Equality hasn't already happened. It's weird to me that a few bible verses in a state purporting to have separation from church and state have an effect on a legal situation. Besides, other than the bible, why exactly is being lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender so wrong? The only difference is who you love... and since when is love in any form a bad thing?
Dear Anonymous,
Your ignorance has reached a level too far gone for it to be corrected.
There is a distinct difference between a heterosexual such as myself and "hetrosexuals". First, I am smart enough to use spell check. Second, I am not sexually attracted to other men. No amount of "gay literature" or "gay activities" will MAKE me want to be with another man. The same goes for your children! If they are gay, they are gay. If they are straight they are straight. If they like both boys and girls...awesome!
So the kids at this event were as young as 12...OMG! Do people honestly believe that kids as young as 5-6 years old aren't talking about sex and asking questions? By 12 most kids are reaching a stage where sexual interest is not only peaking but about to climax. (How did Anonymous put it? Pun intended)
Would you rather your kids get their information on sex from pornography or from an environment where they feel safe to ask questions? Your children are more intelligent than you give them credit for and they are more than capable of finding information on any "deviant" sexual behavior imaginable. If you aren't talking to your own children about sex and sexual identity by the time they are 12, then you are a fool. By that age, they already have some notions of what sex is (or even having sex) and this information comes from friends, websites, and/or TV. I personally would rather my children learn about sex and sexual behavior from me, then a educator, and lastly (since it is nearly impossible to avoid) "Jersey Shore".
Sex education is taught to 12 year old children in this country. Why do you have a problem with covering topics that deal with homosexuality. Are you afraid that the book might fall open and just reading the pages will make YOU want to go out and find a same sex partner? Do yourself a favor and embrace it if that's who you are.
One last news flash for you: the LBGT community, these people, these fellow human beings, they have jobs, kids, and yards to mow. They volunteer in their communities, they are police officers, firefighters, doctors, nurses, and teachers. They exist! Your children will have contact with them, they might even save your child's life, or teach them important life lessons, but they WILL NOT "turn" your child "queer".
"I don't care about your sexual inclinations. I don't have time to care about your sexual leanings. They are of absolutely no interest or importance to me, and most other people. Do you get it? I AM NOT INTERESTED!!!!"
I expect the irony of that comment went over your head at Warp 9. :-D
It's interesting, all the children at the even of the so called "Fistgate" were volunteers. No man, woman or child was force to go. They found the fliers and went there on their own. The people who held the event did not bring Gay "propaganda" videos to convert the children. They let the people there do the asking, and like any good adult who has every had a kid ask what something was, you would tell them.
If they are old enough to ask they are old enough to know.
I dont need to be persuaded by Right-wing propaganda, or homo-haters from my personal life, gays have already painted -to me, their overt displays of lewdnes -both behavior and language. Gays are indeed the only one's who wear their sexuality on their sleeves, gratituitous displays, exaggerated femininity.
But what most troubled me was being stalked by them in cars while walking, being asked, "hey, can I suck your d--k?" Or, not being able to use park restrooms because gays are using them as a hangout.
Patti Stanger, gay matchmaker says she had to throw in the towel because of the rampant promiscuity, about not being able to use her matchmaker skills because because gays on her show just want to sleep around. Her friend, gay designer Mark Bower, says "This is what it's like around the country, this is the gay community (in response to her verbalizing how Los Angeles gays were so promiscuous).
It's time for gays to stop denying who they truly are. Time to shelf all this 'committed couples who just want to raise a family' crap.
This IS the gay community.
I am sorry for the gays you encountered who did this but they do not speak for the entire community. I don't think you can generalize about gays based upon them any more than you can generalize about heterosexual men based upon the louts who hit on women. Also, I am not familiar with the two people you named so bear in mind that neither speaks for the entire community also.
One more thing, by your words, I don't think that you are gay, therefore I would appreciate it if you did not take it upon yourself to dictate our lives for us. Thanks. ;p
Wooowww...
For all the blather "Anonymous" puts into his column that he is NOT interested, he sure seems... um... interested...
I'm not a professional psychiatrist or psychologist, but he seems *very* closeted. I forget his name, but there was a senator who railed against gays... until he was found with his hands in the cookie jar. So to speak.
Anonymous, I'm not laughing at you. Please, go to the nearest psychologist. He or she can help you deal with the demons that are haunting you.
You're doing great work here BlackTsunami. I'm not sure I could be bothered to reply so fully and even politely to the kind of verbal-vomit that hateful people spew all over your blog. Keep fighting the good fight :)
And to all the homophobes here - I know what you do in bed but I don't really think about it, and I certainly don't think it defines you. However you seem to put a lot of thought into what we do in bed. Just saying - if you're curious, I can point you to some online 'instructional videos', but I imagine you have your own already...
how sad that we have strayed so far off course from what we know to be immoral behavior. man truly is a sad excuse indeed. if not Jesus Christ all would be lost. prayer is the only answer.
I totally agree. Lying is always immoral behavior, even if it's done in God's name. And those always talking about praying need to do it for themselves the most.
You know if I transposed the word "gay" in most of the anti-gay arguments with another word like say Asian? Woman? Disabled? Black?
OMFG?! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT IT'S SO WRONG!! I imagine a few of you winced on reading the word black there...
Why is it ok to be abusive because it's about sexuality? Why can't adult consenting people just live their lives like the rest of you do? What is it not love if it doesn't fit predefined guides? Also seriously if you believe in God that's great for you but don't pretend you're only being an abusive bully because he told you to. I mean my imaginary friend told me we should all get free cake I've got evidence I wrote it down when I was six. I don't go round yelling at bakery staff that they're wrong to charge me for cake. People would probably ignore me because my friends not famous like God...
The ONLY people who should have less human rights than anyone else are people who abuse human rights like murderers and rapists.
People on death row can marry when they've done something so bad that society condemns them to death, but it's wrong to be like them and breach their human rights.
Just being attracted to someone that has the same bits as you is not a reason to be treated worse than a serial killer.
It's not a reason for any kind of abuse there is no good reason to hurt people. It's nothing but excuses made up by people that want to hurt somebody. If it wasn't the LGBT community it would be some other 'not like me' that they were abusing, anyone who's not mindlessly cruel can see that. Sorry for spamming up your post with my rant, but people like that make me sad.
You libtards all just want the same thing: to force your beliefs on good, hard working true Americans who have worked far and wide for their rights. Really, your responses are funny. I know what being gay looks like--I've watched RuPaul's Drag Race before--and this loving persona that you all create is pathetic. Besides, if the homosexuals want to get married so badly they can just get a union. It's the same thing, really. Keep on fighting the fruitless battle, lovers of homosexuals. REAL AMERICANS WILL PROSPER IN THE END.
...haha, just kidding. I am actually a decent human being who understands that love is love. I don't actually believe in ancient religious ideologies because I accept people for how they were born. it sure is difficult to type in such sophomoric words though. My head hurts a little.
"But what most troubled me was being stalked by them in cars while walking, being asked, "hey, can I suck your d--k?""
Where are you spending your time that men are constantly approaching you and offering blow jobs? And why hasn't anybody invited me?
"Have you ever thought about trying playing guitar, surfing, reading, wine tasting, stamp collecting, doing charity work, doing something to help other people, motor racing, travelling and seeing the world, running, yatch racing, mountain climbing, diving, treasure hunting, writing songs or poetry, football, painting your house, going to the museum, learning to play the piano, starting your own business, delivering meals to old people, learning phtography,doing crosswords, inventing something new, cooking, playing hockey, making a television program, getting a second or third job, listening to Carlos Santana, or even cleaning your car?"
Obviously, no gay person has ever EVER done ANY of these things whatsoever.
"I just happen to be hetrosexual but I have much more going on in my life than that, and I certainly don't have the time to walk around telling everyone how hetrosexual I am, defending myself for it and telling others how they should not be nasty to me because I am hetro." So you aren't forced into the closet and thus have a healthy relationship? Because gays do this are abused for it
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