Monday, October 09, 2006

Who Dawn Stefanowicz? A headless monster in the making

On her webpage (, Dawn Stefanowicz says the following:

Dawn has been married for 22 years and was raised in a homosexual household. She acknowledges that children are impacted and influenced long-term by various family structures and living arrangements. Dawn addresses the impact of legislation affecting children. These center around the areas of marriage, adoption, sexuality, and education. She has testified in Boston, Massachusetts, in Tallahassee, Florida, to the Washington Supreme Court Justices, and to The Canadian Senate Standing Committee on Legal and Constitutional Affairs in Ottawa. Dawn speaks to a wide range of groups and wrote the article 'Same-Sex Marriage: Have the Best Interests of Children Been Considered?' Her media experiences include television, radio and print. Her book, Out from Under: Getting Clear of the Wreckage of a Sexually Disordered Home, will be published in 2007.

It sounds terrible, don't it? A person who was raised in a gay home telling how it negatively impacted her life.

I don't know whether or not Ms. Stefanowicz is telling the truth. If she is, then my heart goes out to her.

But I can't help but be suspicious about her and her motives.

For one thing, she did not come virtually from nowhere.

In this article in Agape Press (, she recounts her tale, but using the verbage the anti-gay industry uses against us:

"According to Stefanowicz, the liberal media in Canada has done a 'very poor job' of presenting evidence on the influence the homosexual lifestyle has on children. 'Scientific data and negative personal experiences related to this issue that are obviously relevant -- they're ignored, they're not discussed,' she says."

And what studies are these? I noticed that on her personal webpage, she recounts her life. It is pretty much the same story she repeated in the August 2005 American Family Association Journal (

But there is one difference.

Her American Family Association story contains endnotes and references to studies and columns by various so-called "pro family" groups and spokespeople including Family Research Council's Timothy Dailey (debunked on this and other sites), Stephen Bennett, and our friend Paul Cameron.

The version of her personal story present on her webpage have the endnotes and references conveniently omitted.

I don't know if Ms. Stefanowicz is telling the truth about her life. But I do know that she is obviously tailoring her personal story to suit pretty much every stereotype, talking point, and lie the anti-gay industry spreads about us.

You know what? That kinda makes me mad.

I am sorry if Ms. Stefanowicz had a bad life but if what she claims is true, it was her father's fault, not the gay community. There are many homes in which there are gay parents and the children are not suffering because of it. For that matter, there are many homes with heterosexual parents and the children are being abused. This is not meant to be an indictment on heterosexual homes. I am just making a point.

And my anger is not just for myself. I have a good friend who took it upon himself to take in two young boys who had no sense of family. Hopefully he will be able to adopt those two boys and the other three children he took in.

He is a good man from a large loving family. He has a good head on his shoulders and is currently trying to start his own business. He also happens to be gay.

Because of this woman's possible need to blame someone else for her bad life, he may have problems giving those children a good home. Ms. Stefanowicz's story (probably omitting the endnotes and references) will probably be spread throughout every anti-gay industry webpage. She will probably be able to appear on Fox News, the 700 Club, and various other places peddling her story unchallenged.

A female Paul Cameron if you will.

Meanwhile my friend and countless other gays and lesbians who are raising children to be upstanding citizens will have more stigma thrown their way.

That is the real tragedy.


Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I agree with everyhting you have said about Dawn, unfortunatly people like her make it hard for gay people to get ahead.

Anonymous said...

You know the thing that I find really strange is that she is selling her biography which pretty much disreputes gays to the masses. BUT WAIT! Lets not settle for English, why not also translate the book into portugese and italian? Clearly she is making quite a tidy sum of money for her children's education.

I'm not sure about gay adoption in the US but I understand that there is a lot of red tape to go through. Was gay adoption even legal back in the 60s?

BlackTsunami said...

I don't think her nonsense is selling well in the United States, but other countries may be more guillible.

I don't know about gay adoption in the 60s. she claims it was her natural father.

Anonymous said...

My husband was raised by a gay father in the 70's/80's. My husband went over 15 years in solitude because of his confusion. We, as a couple, have spent many a night trying to help him work through some of the negative things that occurred during his young life.

I have always been accepting, if not accommodating to the gay and lesbian community. However, after living with my husband, there is a very clear difference in his behaviors and men of traditional marriages or even broken homes.

I have always been a strong supporter that children that need families should be provided homes, regardless of sexual orientation. Yet, now I struggle to hold to this belief. I, the wife, am left to help my husband relearn and understand many things he could have gotten from a traditional household. Probably no different than a single father raising his children. However, when you add in the sexual abuse and behavior, it is counter productive to my straight husband. Everything has a gay reference - jokes too. This is frustrating to me in front of my preteen son.

My husband's belief: He believes children can be successfully and happily raised in a gay household.

My belief: depends.

BTW, I have read Dawn's book, and it mirrors my husband's childhood and feelings growing up.

BlackTsunami said...

Thank you for that.

While I am sorry for the situation with your husband, I know of homes with lgbt parents where none of the things you described have occurred.

The children are raised with love and support and no sexual abuse occur.

So yes it does depend - on the parent and NOT the sexual orientation of the parent.

And I do stand by what I say about Dawn Stefanowicz and her book.

Anonymous said...

why is no one discussing the fact that sexual abuse happens more often in heterosexual households? and if we are this upset about lesbian and gays adopting, why aren't we more upset about single parent households? to be even, shouldn't we take children away from parents who choose to get divorced? as a teacher i can tell you that acrimonious divorce is far more harmful to children than being raised by same sex parents. as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, i can say that it happened because i was in a heterosexual household--and that it did the same damage that being raised in any sexually dysfunctional home would cause . . . regardless of sexual orientation of the parents.

Anonymous said...

Looks like Dawn was pushing her views in the Buenos Aires Herald hoping to stop SSM from being passed by the Argentinean Senate.

BlackTsunami said...

Ugh. She was unsuccessful

Anonymous said...

This is directed at anonymous (with the husband raised in a gay household):

I am sorry that your husband has had such a hard upbringing, but firstly, such a story is not exclusive to children of gay marriage. My upbringing was hard too; thanks to my parents' separation, it culminated in my being put out on the street at seventeen with no clothes, no money, and nowhere to go. However, I can't apply that same story to every child of acrimonious separation or divorce. I was one of the unfortunates for whom the story took a nasty turn, and despite that, I absolutely support separated parents' rights to raise their own children. I can't impose my personal experiences on anyone else, because you can be sure that however many people one finds that share one's opinion about something, there are twice as many out there that don't.

You have to remember that despite what I'm sure was a difficult childhood, your husband turned into the man you love today. Who knows how many of his traits that you LIKE were influenced by his situation?

On the point of Ms Dawn's book:
If she's so desperate to stop her awful past from happening to anyone else, why doesn't she give her book out for free? It would help more people that way. I'll tell you why: because she wants to capitalise on her past, and, even worse, she wants her profit and validation to come from denying rights to others based on a single case. That case being her own! If she's so sure she was damaged by her past, can't she see that perhaps she's engaging in damaging behaviour herself without knowing it?

In any case, she lived with her mother AND father. It was just that her mother was ill. So we're dealing with a man who brought his lovers into his house where he was also caring for his sick wife. If you'll forgive my bluntness, it sounds like he was just an arsehole, a trait which is hardly exclusive to homosexuals. On a final note, who's to say that, if her father was able to be a parent without having to marry and procreate with a woman, things would have turned out the same way? Perhaps it was years of having to live a lie that turned him into person that damaged her so much.

Anonymous said...

It doesn´t matter "where" a child is being raised. According to Human Rights Associations and according to any civilized society: at home, at a child care institution or any other place where children are being brought up, if there is a lack of principles and morals, if there is no fear of the cosequences of immorality, promiscuity, abuse, etc., children will always be harmed in their minds and will show disfunctionality in their future behaviours and in their grown-up lives. What is sad is that many of those grownups raising children (gay or not gay)have not cleaned up their inner messes and are copying what was done to them instead of facing their own truths and looking for professional help to help them become better human beings and parents. We´re NOT civilized, even if we claim to be!!

David Cox said...

Driving Dawn's story is none other than the American College of Pediatricians. According to her website, the ACP endorses her book. We know this small group's dismal reputation of lies and smear campaigns against LGBT people.

Anonymous said...

This horrible woman IS reaching societies where the church is still strongly into politics, like someone else suggested in the comments.

MARÍA DENISSE FANIANOS DE CAPRILES is the "reporter" responsible for spreading such nonsense in Venezuela + she does much more, and, for that, I think MARÍA DENISSE FANIANOS DE CAPRILES should be officially named a Holy Bully and Headless Monster

Anonymous said...

I know that Dawn is right about the consequences of living with a homosexual parent. My experience was horrible. My step-father was also an alcoholic and a lawyer so having a discussion was impossible. There is damage in being politically correct. God says that homosexuality (male and female) is wrong and I will believe God over the politically correct. We all need love and legalism will not bring that to any person. Until you have experienced the hell we have experienced, don't say anything at all.

BlackTsunami said...

Whatever. While I may doubt her story, at least Stefanowicz puts her name down. How can anyone know whether or not you are telling the true. Until you have the guts to reveal who you are and provide proof of your story, perhaps YOU should keep your mouth shut.

Anonymous said...

A few days ago civil unions for same sex partners were approved by the hellenic parliament. Greece is mainly a conservative country with religious views on homosexuality being dominant among citizens. The story of Dawn Stefanowicz started circulating on the social media accompanied by exagerations and misinformation as an example of why gay parenting should not be legalized here in Greece, why homosexuals are pervets and abusive, as well as why gay couples should not be recognized by the state and homosexuals should not be tolerated.
Homophobia is on the rise in Greece and this story is the tip of the iceberg in a scary intolerant enviroment that we, homosexuals are trying to make a life.