Lift that barge, tote that bale, drive that wedge
Unfortunately as the lgbt community tries to deal with losing in California, ugliness is prevailing.
The scuttlebutt seems to be that the African-American community overwhelmingly supported the anti-gay marriage equality amendment.
Now the blogsphere on the left is filled with comments by some angry lgbts over this.
Part of me can say that I understand their anger. But I won't.
I simply will not give an ounce of sympathy. And here is why:
I live in South Carolina. When the marriage amendment hit us, nobody gave a damn because everyone figured that South Carolina was so homophobic, it wasn' t worth worrying about.
I guess what happened in California proves that not only your silence but your location will NOT protect you.
When we lost, we got demoralized but we got back up again and got united. We assessed why we lost and are better because of it.
All I can say in this matter is don't let your anger make you say things that are counterproductive and stupid - like the threats I read on the Queerty site. Very nice guys - you really did something special. Now Peter Labarbera and Matt Barber can plead victimhood for days.
I am of the opinion of Pam Spaulding. She wrote an excellent piece on how the defeats should make lgbts deal with the issue of race in their community:
For those of us who are black and gay, a group too often marginalized within a marginalized community, I see this as a clear signal to the LGBT advocacy community. There hasn't been enough outreach to those groups who voted against us. We haven't reached them; there hasn't been enough effort expended.
I've been blogging for years about the need to discuss race in regards to LGBT issues. I hope that this is now the wakeup call for our "professional gays" out there who represent us to come out of their comfort zones and help bridge this concrete education gap. The belief that white=gay is big part of the problem, and as long as black LGBTs are invisible in their own communities and there is a dearth of color in the public face of LGBT leadership, the socially conservative black community can remain in denial that I exist as a black lesbian.
This is a teachable moment people, so hush up and learn. The religious right is going to use your anger to drive a wedge where there should be a bridge.
10 comments:
Want to know why everyone is taking it out on the black community? Because the black GLBT community, and that includes you, Alvin, were AWOL.
When all those guys were running lines like "don't equate sexuality to the color of one's skin?"
You and others should have been all over that one.
If I'm not mistaken, I even sent you a link to a video clip of McPherson saying it.
Que paso?
Did you ignore the send because you're still acting out of spite for trying to justify your cowardice at my expense? I hope not...
We lost because we were outmatched, two to one, sometimes three to one or more.
It didn't help at all that were people who either phoned it in or took a sabbatical. You should have, could have, but did not.
Honestly, Alvin, was shoving your head up Porno Pete's ass really worth it?
Nelson,
The only reason you are responding to me the way you do is because you have a personal problem with me.
But I will say a two small things for clarification.
1. I got your post but could not open it so I didn't bother about it.
2. I think it's pathetic that you are using this Proposition 8 situation to make personal digs against me. We were friends but you were not honest with me about your situation. And when the truth came out, you acted as if I had done you wrong. Sorry, that was not the case.
Let me make another clarification - your behavior right now is pathetic but not unexpected. You are indicative of so many things rotten in the lgbt community - self righteous, hiding behind your computer, always ready to lash out at anyone who doesn't fit your ridiculous definition of reality, self pitying, lying to everyone and yourself, and above all, petty.
No doubt you are going to get on your site and play the "Everyone is out to get Nelson Garcia" pity party. And I am sure that you got the cross and the burning torch ready but I am simply not going to play your game.
End trans my former friend
“There hasn't been enough outreach to those groups who voted against us. We haven't reached them; there hasn't been enough effort expended.”
“This is a teachable moment people, so hush up and learn. The religious right is going to use your anger to drive a wedge where there should be a bridge.”
Excellent points. We’re playing right into their “divide and conquer” strategy when we speak of the African American “community” in a swath of anti-gay generalization. Especially when we do so without taking into consideration the insular nature of marginalized communities.
And that’s not to mention the sense of white privilege that people like me take for granted on a daily basis. My own sister said she was against Obama because her friend told her that Michelle Obama wrote a paper in college demanding special rights for blacks. At least she admitted to being a racist when confronted on it.
Over the past couple of years I’ve made the effort to take into consideration my own sense of “white privilege,” and to my chagrin, I’ve found that I feel virtually invisible in public, as compared with how I would feel if my skin were dark, or if I was Latin, or Asian etc., but mostly black.
I have my own problems, so it’s not something I spend a lot of time thinking about, but its mortifyingly disgusting none the less. Fortunately though, it’s valuable insight.
It would seem that this insular nature of marginalized communities expresses itself in different ways, based on the nature of their marginalization. That’s something that should be investigated - how each group (again, generalizing) views the other groups, and why.
Donnie McClurkin’s book helped to put his “gays kill children” quote into a more palatable context.
I think my point with that is that it might be easier for a white person to find secular “community” outside of their church community, than it would be for a black person. Which leads to the observation that the organization of the civil rights movement was largely started and fostered in the churches. Something that gay people, at this point, cannot match.
And one more plug for the Rockway Institute. Check out chapter 12 “Politics of Marriage” in this video. Dr Judith Stacey talks about how the same-sex marriage movement is an “overwhelmingly” white and middle to upper class campaign, and that she thinks the lack of outreach has become “very unfortunate politically.” (That point is discussed a few times during the video.)
Note: Video can be accessed from the link on the resources for media page -- June 6, 2008, "Gay Rights and The Politics of 2008"
P.S. I feel very uncomfortable even talking about this. I want to express myself, but I’m terrified of being misunderstood or coming across as not PC enough - even though I’m perfectly open to correction. So that’s another problem, the very reticence that people like me feel for fear of offending.
I understand where you are coming from, Emproph.
Definitely say what's on your mind, especially here. You and I have been online buddies for a while so I trust your comments not to be mean or rude.
Also, its about time that our community has this discussion. So maybe some good has come out of this situation.
Oh yes!
May i link to this?
By all means, please do.
This is a teachable moment people, so hush up and learn. The religious right is going to use your anger to drive a wedge where there should be a bridge.
You know I've always admired and respected your work and opinions. But I have to disagree completely with that. You're asking us to try to build bridges with people who have no desire or intention of compromising with us. Their mindset is "gays are evil, so sayeth the Bible and ain't nobody going to tell me different--particularly some uppity homos just trying to defend their sinful lifestyle choices". I would think you of all people would know there's no bridge building with people who use their religious beliefs both as a weapon against us and as a shield against any question or criticism of their actions. Outreach is only for those who are reachable, and the Labarberas and Barbers of this world simply aren't.
As to the "scuttlebutt" over AA people voting about 70% for Prop 8 IMO that had nothing to do with race and everything to do with their "deeply held religious beliefs". Nearly every comment or opinion piece I've seen from a black voter has said as much. Once again we're having our rights ripped away by people who think it just to enshrine their religion into law while simultaneously crying "religious persecution". The hypocrisy is astounding.
Now I'm off to a meeting to discuss where to go and what to do next. We have gotten up again and united, and we're taking action.
I am glad to see that you realize that race had nothing to do with the passage of Proposition 8.
But the fact of the matter is that many of us took that point and ran with it. Some of us in our community lost their minds and began attacking african-americans whether they were gay or not. And that was what I was responding to.
But I do wish you all the luck in what your endeavors to stop Proposition 8.
Buffy, It’s true that a significant portion of all demographics who vote against LGBTQ’s actually ENJOY hating us, and who are -- for all practical purposes -- irredeemable. The important point that I see is that there are too many that are indeed reachable.
The LaBarbera’s and Barber’s are to be scolded directly (which is not to say that they should be given up on, but in my experience, little short of a near-death-type experience would be able to counter the joy they take in hating us).
Which is the point for me, that a distinction needs to be made between those who hate gay people (because they’re told to), and those who love to hate gay people (as an identity).
It’s hard, but it’s necessary. Many of the anti-gay movement’s followers are simply just ignorant. However, those like Dobson, Perkins, LaBarbera, Barber, the Mormon Church leadership et al, do indeed need to be called - personally - on their hypocrisy and dishonesty.
As I see it, it’s not an either/or issue, it’s both. But “THEY” want us to think they are in unison on the us/them frame.
It’s a trap.
And believe me, I have no qualms about demonizing the portion of the anti-gay demographic that actually does live and breathe to hate gays (no matter what). I just want to make sure that my anger is focused and effective.
Again, frustrating, but necessary.
emproph,
I always make at least an attempt to educate people, even those I believe to be ineducable. I do it partly so I can know I tried, and also so others may potentially learn from my efforts. However those who don't learn or refuse to learn aren't worth the time or effort. There are much better things to do than bang one's head against a brick wall.
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