Concerned Women for America's slanted poll makes me crazy

According to People for the American Way's Right Wing Watch, Concerned Women for American sent a survey to its members asking their opinions on the so-called "impact of the radical homosexual agenda in public schools."

You have to see these questions. They are unbelievable. Allow me to add some degree of editorialization (is that even a word) after each question:

1. Do you support teaching children in grades as early as kindergarten that cross-dressing is acceptable?

No. Children should learn to cross-dress before entering kindergarten.

2. What kind of impact do you believe this kind of teaching would have on young children? .

It would teach them how to properly accessorize.

3. Do you believe school children as young as 13 should be exposed to explicit, detailed discussions and instructions on homosexual practices (including sodomy) as are being conducted by homosexual teachers and activists right now?

That's not even necessary. Just make watching High School Musical mandatory. You'll get the same results.

4. What kind of impact do you believe this kind of instruction would have on young children?

They are sure to pay attention in class. Get them to take notes.

5. Do you believe the increase of homosexual experimentation among teens is related to presentation of pro-"gay" instruction in the classroom?

By homosexual experimentation, I'm guessing CWA means lip synching a Christina Aguilera song.

6. Is it possible for the radical homosexual agenda to succeed in achieving its overriding goal of changing the moral character of our young people and the moral landscape of our nation through our schools?

I'm guessing they mean as opposed to the "normal homosexual agenda." And I don't know what that is because national headquarters has yet to send me the manual. I think it's a racial thing.

7. What impact would this have on our nation and the next generation leading it?

No one will be wearing white after Labor Day.

8. Do you agree that instruction in some classrooms is a blatant push to unashamedly promote and encourage the homosexual lifestyle and ultimately force "gay marriage" on the American public?

That's right - we want everyone in a gay marriage. I am personally overseeing the committee to put Jack Black, Abraham Benrubi, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and Mike White in a polygamous marriage with myself. Call me boys - you either come to my house peacefully or else.

9. Do you feel instilling positive views of homosexuality in schools will result in America accepting same-sex "marriages"?

I sincerely hope so. Mother is hoping that I snag either a doctor or a lawyer.

10. Do you agree that homosexual "marriage" is as valid as traditional marriage, as is being taught in some school districts?

Who cares. As long as no one laughs at me for wearing white at MY wedding.

11. What impact on traditional marriage do you believe this kind of classroom instruction will have in the future?

Who cares. As long as no one laughs at me for wearing white at MY wedding. (Yes I repeated it!)

12. Do you support laws requiring schools to obtain parents' permission before their child is exposed to information of a homosexual nature?

Where the hell were you people when I had to read the Razor's Edge by gay author Somerset Maugham? Or when I was forced to watch that Strawberry Shortcake cartoon in grade school? That Peculiar Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak was a little TOO peculiar.

13. What impact on traditional marriage do you believe homosexual teaching would have in the future?

Not knowing who has to pay for the wedding.

14. Are you will to take a moral stand against pro-homosexual classroom curriculum by taking grassroots action against the organizations who promote it?

I would rather take an immoral stand. It's much more fun but you gotta make sure you destroy all of the pictures.

15. Will you help Concerned Women for America as we stand strong for Biblical principles and against the radical homosexual agenda in our schools?

Sure. Bend over. I hope you like fillet of sole.

I'm sorry if I am taking this too lightly. It's not even frustrating anymore when I read stuff like this. Not only is the poll slanted, but it's chock full of biases, code words (i.e. "pro-gay instruction"), and presents the lgbt community in the worst possible light.

To the CWA, we aren't people with feelings and emotions who care about family and country. To them, we are an entity out of some bad science fiction movie constantly plotting to seduce childen and take over America while having lots of wild sex in our leisure time (and trust me when I say that last point is a blatant lie).

I won't even tell you how the CWA members who responded to the poll answered the questions. I will let you guess.

However, according to Right Wing Watch, CWA said that a small percentage of its members responded at all.

I guess that means even right-wing conservative Christians get embarrassed now and then.