Friday, April 24, 2009

What's wrong with my beautiful black people, Lord?

A friend of mine emailed me a link that he said drove him out of his mind. In reading the link, I don't blame him for wanting to cut someone.

The link is a webpage for a new book, Crooks and Homos in the Pulpit (not that's not a typo). The preview of the book says the following:

Do church leaders such as Bishop T.D. Jakes, Bishop Eddie Long, Dr. Creflo Dollar, Joel Osteen, or reported homosexual Pastor Ted Haggard truly understand God's Word? If so, why have they become corporate CEO's, allowing money, greed, and materialism to take over their souls? These leaders are whoring God's people from the pulpit, while teaching legions of pimps, crooks, liars, and homosexuals, who pose as pastors, to follow in their footsteps.

In Crooks and Homos in the Pulpit, author Reuben Armstrong exposes the false doctrine of prosperity and "feel good" message that Jakes, Long, Dollar, Osteen, and Haggard proclaim. You will discover what the Bible says about false leaders such as these men and the judgment they face.

Armstrong points out that too many churches have become corporate meet and meat markets. Through extensive research, he outlines what really goes on inside the "house of worship." He exposes the shocking lifestyles of prosperity preachers, the sexual favors given in pastoral studies and Sunday School rooms, and the church hoochie mommas and puff daddies these people attract as their groupies.

Armstrong's book is a wake up call to the Body of Christ. He points to the crooks, liars, thieves, and homosexuals who are flaunting their sickening lifestyles in front of God's people, while taking the last dollar that church folk have. Christians can no longer allow the likes of Jakes, Long, Osteen, Dollar and Haggard in their pulpits. It's time for God's church to rise up against all false teachers and say, "Enough is enough! Take your false doctrines with you straight to the pits of hell!"

Just another piece of trash masquerading as an expose. No doubt it's going to be a big seller in the black community.

This book reminds me of that ridiculous mess by J.L. King a while back which help to fuel the so-called "down low" phenomena.

Very few individuals know just how stupid this "spotting down low men" mania got. A wannabe writer by the name of Sharahzad Ali wrote a book which featured "signs" for women to recognize if their mate was secretly gay:

1) Men are very territorial, if another man enters their space or violates their square, he'll move away or take a step back, if he doesn't move this might be a sign that he's open for getting closer. Notice if they brush shoulders or lean over across each other touching ever so slightly – like lovers do.

2) Is he effeminate? Some men slowly move into a more feminine stand, or pose. They might start wearing their belts tighter to show their shape, or it might just be the flinging up of a finger or how they place their feet when standing. Or they may start wearing footies around the house and walking on their toes. It's doubtful they'll slip and do any of this.

3) If he holds eye contact too long with a man, or if he holds on to his hand after shaking it, or if he prolongs hugging a man past the greeting stage.

4) If you notice him watching other men just a little bit too much, or if he raises his voice a bit too loud when he's with you and other men are present to get their attention. Does he seem to follow a man to the restroom at a restaurant or club?

5) Check out his friends, how do they act with each other, are they masculine or working hard to appear so, do they talk on the phone a bit too much for two adult men?

6) How does he sleep at night, what position does he sleep in? Does he sleep like a woman, or like a man? What does he talk about in his sleep?

7) Has he been single just a bit too long? What is his history with women? Why did they break up, Does he go on long drives alone? Is he cruising?

8) Discuss homosexuality with him, see how he reacts. If he reacts too strongly on the negative or too violently – perhaps he's protesting so strongly to throw you off track so he isn't suspect himself.

9) Discuss child molestation with him and see how he feels about it, ask him was he ever molested, does he know any men who were, and how does he think it affects a man's sexuality.

10) You can touch his rectum to see if he has those tell-tale humps on his anus from having it stretched open with a penis. Then later on ask him if he's ever had hemorrhoids really bad.

11) Check his underwear for tiny streaks of bloodstains, or clear stains which may be semen. There may not be any because men on the DL are usually `Tops' so they can justify themselves as not being Gay.

12) Chart your sex life. Note how often you and he are intimate and if you're always the one who has to start the process rolling. Is he in a hurry? Is it a problem for him getting an maintaining an erection, when it never used to be that difficult?

13) If he has a lot of unexcused absences, and if he's out later than he usually is a couple of times a week. He might be cruising or stopping by a Gay after-hour joint after his regular activities.

14) If he likes anal stimulation, or likes to have his prostrate massaged – and asks/begs for it.

15) If he wants to have anal sex more than vaginal sex, or skips your vagina altogether.

16) If he asks you to "toss his salad" and you agree, and his legs go up too quickly, he's probably used to doing it.

17) Some women get their Gay friend to "hit" on their man to see if he goes for it (Not good).

18) If he asks you to strap on a dildo and do him in the rear this may be a hint of what he's used to.


I don't know what's funnier - the signs or the fact that someone took this mess seriously.

This new book about "crooks and homos in the pulpit" is like Ali's book - a symptom of ignorance in the black community.

That's the problem with not discussing vital issues - there tends to be a lot of fear, bad information, and an unnecessary salacious quality added.

If there were real discussions in the black community about lgbts of color, it would go a long way to dispelling so many inaccuracies.

Until we start having these real discussions, expect see more exploitation by phonies masquerading as concerned professionals.

Hell, I may just write my own book.



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