We may not have won in New York yet but we will

Editor's note - Training at my job is whipping my behind. Thank goodness it lasts only two more days.

By now, you all know the news that marriage equality was defeated in New York via a 38-24 vote of the legislature.

I'm sure everyone on our side of the spectrum has voiced their anger and will continue to do such while Maggie Gallagher, NOM, and company will talk about it being a great victory for their side.

Now the last time I spoke out over a marriage equality loss (i.e. the vote in Maine), some folks didn't appreciate my "stop whining and don't get discouraged" tone.

While I'm not going to be as mean this time, I'm still in the camp of "this is a momentary setback in the cause of lgbt equality."

Let me explain my point.

One of the main reasons why I despise when we lose marriage equality votes, referendums, etc is because it demoralizes the community. We allow it to suck the very life out of us.

No matter what happened that was positive for us at the time of whatever defeat, no matter how many victories we have lodged, everything is judged in the prism of "we lost this marriage equality vote so life sucks for us."

And I don't think marriage equality losses should have that much power over us.

So we lost the vote in New York this time. It doesn't mean that we can't continue to try.

And it doesn't take away from the fact that Georgia elected the nation's first (but not the last) African-American lesbian state legislator

Nor does the loss in New York take away the fact that Ebony magazine put an out lesbian of color on the cover of its magazine for the first time ever.

Or a young gay Asian was elected to be mayor of Campbell, CA

Or the Washington, D.C. Council voted to legalize same sex marriage in spite of threats by the Catholic church.

Or our victory regarding the Washington statewide vote for domestic partnership became official today.

Or (and yes I'm going to say it) actress Meredith Baxter came out today. Forget that fact that she is a celebrity for a second. This is a woman who for the first time ever was proud to publicly announce her love for someone she has had a relationship for seven years.

To hell with anyone who says "what took her so long." I say "you better go, girl!"

We are getting there. We ain't there yet but it would make no sense to stop pushing forward because I believe that we are closer to our goals than we like to give ourselves credit for.

So while I'm not happy with the vote in New York, I refuse to get discouraged.

And I hope that the rest of my lgbt brothers and sisters and those who support us don't, either.