Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Children should never be props for homophobia

In this fight over marriage equality, the most disturbing thing to me is how folks affiliated with the National Organization for Marriage, the Heritage Foundation, and other so-called pro-family groups have no problem exploiting children as props for homophobia.

What I mean by that is typified by a  talking point they all use:

All children have a right to a mother and a father.

It's a short, but powerful statement which they have used to define their side of the issue. It has also been a battle cry which they have used to rally their supporters.

But it is also fiendishly deceptive statement which typifies the lack of reality encompassing opponents of marriage equality.

First of all, by the statement, it is implied that every time gays adopt children or have children, we are depriving children of something, that we are taking their rights away, that we are harming children.

It is implied that we are so selfish that we are willing to put children in a state which will lead them constantly disadvantaged.

To me as a gay man, that is totally offensive.  And it is a lie.

However, more importantly, the statement that "all children have a right to a mother and a father" deliberately ignores the reality that all children do have mothers and fathers.

You see, when NOM, the Heritage Foundation, etc. start talking about families, they mean only one concept of family. A man and a woman joined together and raising children. While there is nothing wrong with this concept, to heavily imply that this is the only concept that matters in terms of family is dangerous.

These organizations ignore the fact that sometimes the mother/father setting may not be the best place for the child, i.e. some mothers and fathers have no business raising children. These organizations also conveniently ignore single parent households, children being raised by relatives.  And more importantly, orphans and especially children in the foster care system.

One can imagine how better the world would be if these so-called pro-family groups would used their skills, money, and influence to find permanent homes for orphans and children in foster care instead of attacking families for not fitting into their narrative.

Unfortunately though, one gets the impression that they don't care about these children or any families they can't exploit for their narrative.


Anonymous said...

Ugh, thus is so annoying. It's a biological fact that all children have a mother and father, or at least have the DNA of a man and a woman. This biological fact has nothing to do with the way a child experiences his/her childhood. However, whether the child has a loving parent or two loving parents (or unloving parents) will drastically affect the way a child experiences his/her childhood. Christianists don't care about loving parents, they just care that parents have a penis and a vagina. Their concerns aren't about children, their concerns are their own insecurities about adults

Murdoch Matthew said...

"All children have a right to a mother and a father" ignores the fact that many children are being raised by single mothers, single fathers, grandparents, or extended family and friends. Somehow it's only gay couples who deprive children of their rights. Unless anti-gay activists can suggest a way to supply all children with resident mothers and fathers, they should just shut up. And be glad when children are in homes where they are loved and cared for.