Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters

Monday, October 25, 2010

A few words about voting from SAVE Dade

This isn't only about Florida. It goes for the entire country:

Hat tip to Save Dade.

Apparently I am an 'Uncle Tom' and other Monday midday news briefs

No Maggie…And You Don’t Have Any Blood In Your Heart Either- Give it up Maggie Gallagher, your protests only make it worse.

McCollum’s last stand? He won’t appeal gay adoption ruling, BUT…. - Florida's gay adoption ban is dead but McCollum seems to want to play Dr. Frankenstein.

Unlikely allies in bias battle: Gay man and his ex-attacker - This is a pretty cool article.

Finally, someone (who shall remain nameless) took the time to pick apart my earlier work. By picking apart, I mean calling me names like an shill for the Democratic Party and an Obama apologist. Then two others - one with a personal beef with me - decided to join in. And I have a problem with that because it proves the point I am trying to make. Can the lgbt community do anything but demonstate creative ways concerning how angry we are throw useless insults at each other. Anyway, this is my answer to him just in case he decides not to publish it on his page:

Dear Sir,

the piece I wrote was a response to the nonsense I hear about lgbts sittiing out this election. To do so would be counterproductive to our struggle. And yes I have a problem with the lgbt community consistently being "reactive" instead of "proactive" We gather together after a tragedy, hugging each other and the like but what are we doing to keep the tragedy from taking place in the first place?

Please bear in mind that I am no one's shill but a free man with my own mind. My background determines who I am and I decide how I will act as a gay man. That's another problem in our community. Some self-appointed individuals call themselves setting the rules and the dictates of what our history is and demanding that folks adhere to them. Well I don't and I am tired of all of this useless anger, these ugly words - "I am an Uncle Tom," "my writing is piss poor," etc. Yes I get it. You are angry but the question is what are you going to do with it? What are you going to do about it? Probably nothing but stew in your juices and call people names. It's unfortunately what some of us do best. Two more things - even those in the civil rights movement realized that proaction is better than reaction. I suggest you look up the full history before citing it. Just because the struggle for lgbt equality and African-American equality is similar doesn't mean you can cite it without knowing what you are talking about.

The lgbt community should NOT sit this election out

According to the Associated Press, a lot of lgbts are angry at the Democratic Party to the point that some are thinking of either not voting or sitting this election out:

If Democratic candidates are counting on long-standing support from gay voters to help stave off big losses on Nov. 2, they could be in for a surprise.

Across the country, activists say gay voters are angry — at the lack of progress on issues from eliminating employment discrimination to uncertainty over serving in the military to the economy — and some are choosing to sit out this election or look for other candidates.

Let me make this short and sweet. Any lgbt thinking of sitting this election out should think long and hard about whether it is a wise thing to do for the community. I say that on the basic principle that no American at any time should surrender his or her right to vote. Me as an African-American will never do that no matter how angry I feel.

Too many people have suffered beatings, humiliation, and even death for me to vote. For me not to vote would be spitting in their face.

But as a gay man, while I'm not happy with the progress of the Obama Administration on the BIG issues (i.e. DOMA, DADT), there is something nagging me extremely.

The lgbt community has had a wonderful year. Prop 8 was overturned, the Florida anti-gay adoption law is gone, the exposure of George Rekers opened so many's eyes to religious right junk science, the nation rallied around our youth when those awful suicides took place, and this week will mark one year since lgbt-inclusive hate crimes legislation was signed into law.

I have a serious problem reducing all of the positives of this year to one big minus simply because of DOMA and DADT.

I have a serious problem getting angry at the Democrats so much that I am willing to sacrifice our momentum.

But mostly, I have a serious problem with our community getting so angry at what Obama didn't accomplish that we ignore what we did accomplish. Please notice I said we as in the lgbt community and our allies

It would be nice that with a simple stroke of a pen, our lives would get better, but it's not going to happen that way. Even if DOMA and DADT was overturned, we are still going to have to deal with ignorance and prejudice. Our children are still going to have to deal with bullying. We are still going to have to deal with those who seek to either trivialize our lives or bash in our skulls.

All of this took place before the Obama Presidency and it will continue after his presidency. The only reason why there have been positive changes is because we took the initiative to make those changes.

And I guess that's my reason for getting angry at folks threatening to sit out on election day. To me, not voting is the same as cowering when someone threatens you. And this time's it's not necessarily a person making the threats but the circumstances of the times. But as quickly as a coward runs home when threatened by a bully, some of us are retreating into our safe zones, ready to give up our advantage (because we do have one) simply because our anger.

There should be a bit more understanding and an appreciation that the BIG issues are not the only ones affecting the lgbt community and that there are some who not affected by the BIG issues at all. I know many young black gay men who could care less about DADT but was floored by the fact that Obama took time out to speak to youths about bullying. To them, it was the first time they ever saw a president and a black man being publicly supportive.

Some victories may come fast, others will take time, but we are winning.

This by no means is a defense of the Obama Administration or the Democrats, but an attack on how the lgbt community is yet again "reacting."

For me, it mostly comes down to this:

We reacted because the police kept harassing us as Stonewall,

We reacted because Anita Bryant told those lies about us in the 70's,

We reacted because of the AIDS crisis,

We reacted because of the Proposition 8 vote.

Our history seems to be a pattern of reacting.

When you react, you lash out and are on the defensive. You are not in control of the situation because you are trying to rally yourself from whatever calamity that has been thrust upon you.

And that has been our problem.

We are constantly trying to rally ourselves after being slapped. We wait until we have been wronged before we act and then we try to take care of the situation with a rushed public display of anger. And deciding to sit this election out is the ultimate rushed public display of anger. Refusing to vote would do nothing but surrender our advantage, not to mention send a negative message to the many lgbt candidates running for office (another victory we seem to forget about in the midst of our anti-Obama gripefest).

One level, we do come across as a community with legitimate grievances (because our anger and frustration are legitimate), but on another level, we come across as a community willing to cut our noses off to spite our faces simply because we want things NOW.

But basically, I'm saying this - don't sit this election out because if we don't vote because we haven't gotten what we wanted, then we deserve whatever we get.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Oprah takes a sad look back in AIDS in America circa 1987

Editor's note - I generally don't make this kind of warning but feel that I should in this case. What this clip shows will get you angry and will probably make you cry. But it needs to be shown what it was like when AIDS first came on the scene - the ignorance, the fear, the surreal hatred must be shown, remembered, and especially told to those who were too young to remember.

Oprah Winfrey took a look back at one of her 1987 shows. This particular one showed a community (Willamson, West Virginia) at odds with a young gay man with AIDS, Mike Sisco. The fears and hatred exploded when Sisco visited the local swimming pool and residents freaked out thinking that he had contaminated it. This is just a small clip of the show:

Friday, October 22, 2010

Know Your LGBT History - That Certain Summer

That Certain Summer was a groundbreaking television movie which premiered on ABC in 1972. It told the story of a teenager (Scott Jacoby) who finds out that his divorced father (Hal Holbrook) is gay and in a relationship with another man (Martin Sheen) while visiting him during the summer.

It was one of the first movies to deal with the lgbt community on a sympathetic level. The movie can be described as sad - the ending was at least. At the time, it was highly controversial and but successful, garnering several Emmy nominations and one win (Jacoby for Outstanding Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in Drama).

It was also viewed as a huge success by the critics.

From Wikipedia:

Marilyn Beck of the New York Times called it "one of the finest pieces of drama you'll see this year on large or small screen." Judith Crist described it as "a giant step for television" in New York. TV Guide declared, "Television grows up," and in his review in the Los Angeles Times, Charles Champlin opined, "It is the best movie for TV I have yet seen . . . a film which would do honor to any size screen."

'Real' Rolling Stone smacks Ugandan homophobia and other Friday midday news briefs

African 'Rolling Stone' Impostor Spreads Hate Agenda - Rolling Stone magazine strikes against homophobia in Uganda and a bad mark on its good name.

Poll: churches to blame for suicides of LGBT youth - Supposed people of God, there IS a problem here. You can either deny or do something to combat like good Christians would do.

NOM/FRC/IFF sure have a funny way of honoring Spirit Day - The "puke" bus runs along. That's right, I said it.

Gay student teacher gets Oregon job back- This is what happens when the community steps up.

Janet Porter Prays For Control Of the Government - Again? You just can't stop the crazy in Janey.

President Obama: It Gets Better (and how the lgbt community can respond if they wish)

As you can see, President Obama has filmed a "It Gets Better" video expressing his support to lgbt youth. Now some in the lgbt community have expressed themselves by saying how can he film such a message in light of his actions on DADT and DOMA.

Of course some of these folks were the same ones asking where was his "It Gets Better" video after Secretary of State Hilary Clinton filmed hers. However, their points are relevant and should be expressed.

But one thing our community always seem to forget that while our anger is good, the way we show it sometimes ends up biting us in the ass.

Let's be straight here - Queer Nation is gone. Act-Up is gone. Stop resurrecting those insurrectionist take-no-prisoner ghosts and delusions of grandeur. As much as you would like to be short, to the point, and brutally honest, telling the President that "talk is cheap" and "fuck you" is stupid, immature, and totally contradicts the points you are trying to make.

And let's not forget this moment here. A while back, we couldn't get any president say the word "gay," much less "lgbt." Hell, in South Carolina, we can't even get Republican gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley to say the word "gay."

The fact that Obama actually filmed this video demonstrates that slowly, but surely, we are winning.

So how about appreciating his gesture, saying thank you, but reminding him that work needs to be done on his part. Something like (and you don't have to repeat me exactly like this):

Thank you for the video, Mr. President. We are extremely pleased that you took time out of your day to speak to the youth and let them know not to allow bullies rob them of their self worth . . . now about that other stuff with us adults, i.e. DADT and DOMA. Don't you think it's time for you to stop pussyfooting? Just a suggestion.

Maybe it's just me but I think that goes a longer way than saying "you've got blood on your hands mother#@*!"