My possible FINAL word on the gay vs. black conflict

As you all know being an lgbt of color, this constant conflict between black community and the lgbt community over civil rights and such exhausts me every time it comes up. I hate it. At times, I get angry at the black community for it's willful ignorance on the matter and other times, I get angry at the lgbt community for the ignorant assumptions it makes on the matter.

And in the long run, I can't seem to communicate to either community just what exactly is going on, i.e. that they are both being exploited by a third party (the religious right). So now I will issue my "possible final word" on the matter. I say "possible" because you never know. I may have something new to say in the future.

My "possible final word" doesn't come from me, but the legendary teller of fables, Aesop:

An Eagle had made her nest at the top of a lofty oak. A Fox, having found a convenient hole, lived with her young in the middle of the trunk; and a Wild Sow with her young had taken shelter in a hollow at its foot. The Fox resolved to destroy by her arts this chance-made colony. She climbed to the nest of the Eagle, and said: "Destruction is preparing for you, and for me too. The Wild Sow, whom you may see daily digging up the earth, wishes to uproot the oak, that she may, on its fall, seize our families as food." Then she crept down to the cave of the Sow and said: "Your children are in great danger; for as soon as you shall go out with your litter to find food, the Eagle is prepared to pounce upon one of your little pigs." When night came, she went forth with silent foot and obtained food for herself and her young; but, feigning to be afraid, she kept a look-out all through the day. Meanwhile, the Eagle, full of fear of the Sow, sat still on the branches, and the Sow, terrified by the Eagle, did not dare to go out from her cave; and thus they each, with their families, perished from hunger.

Moral - Gay folks and black folks can argue all day as to who gets to be the  "sow" and who gets to be the "eagle." But both groups better damn well recognize who the hell the fox is.

Cancer study reinforces dangers of homophobia and other Monday midday news briefs

Will Money Help Gingrich Win Over The Religious Right? - You actually to ask that question? Is a pea green? Could James Brown get down?

Navy gives thumbs-up to same-sex couples to marry on base in states where its legal - Good for the Navy!

Gay Republican Activists Still Really Not Looking For Dignity - No comment necessary.

Trans Woman Attacked at McDonald's Meets Woman who Saved Her - This is an awesome story.


Study finds gay men are more likely to have had cancer - A study we need to get in front of before the religious right exploits it. If and when folks like Peter Sprigg do exploit this story, they will most assuredly omit this passage:

Liz Margolies, executive director of The National LGBT Cancer Network, told Reuters that more information is needed to plan care and prevention strategies.

She pointed to research which suggests gay men, lesbians and bisexuals are more likely to smoke and abuse alcohol than straight people and said that LGB people are less likely to visit doctors for health check-ups, partly because of stigma.

One more thing - this morning I said that I would be publishing a quick guide on how to refute NOM's phony talking points on marriage equality. It's coming. And here is another preview. A little bit of the prologue:

As evidenced by their talking points, the National Organization for Marriage is taking a highly deceptive tone in its supposed "defense of marriage." The idea that "marriage has to be defended" is nothing more than a cynical talking point designed to take attention away from the true issue - the lives of same-sex couples and especially the livelihood of their children.

And it is a talking point which fuels NOM's tactic of creating division on many levels - same-sex households vs. heterosexual two-parent household, the lgbt community vs. the heteroexual community, and so on. This "divide and conquer" strategy, created in a passive/aggressive manner, is designed to appeal to people's fears, jealousies, and ideas of religious superiority rather than their belief in basic fairness.

The truth of the matter is marriage is not "under attack." It has never been under attack. But what is under attack is truth, integrity, and basic fairness for the hundreds of thousands of same-sex couples and especially their children who seem to be nothing more than chess pieces in NOM's game of exploitation and manipulation.

Defeating the National Organization for Marriage is easier than most think

The Chinese general Sun Tzu once said:

All warfare is based on deception.

That fits this video to a tee. I'm posting it because minus the ominous music, it's the National Organization for Marriage's whole argument for opposing marriage equality. It's the argument the organization has used across the country and now in New York.

Why am I posting it? Because Sun Tzu also said:

So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.

Winning wars comes down to one point - studying those who set themselves up as your enemy so that you know their arguments and tactics.

And whether we realize it or not, the right to achieve marriage equality is a war.

Coming soon - How to refute NOM's talking points on "marriage."

Preview:

NOM - "Gays and Lesbians have a right to live as they choose, they don’t have the right to redefine marriage for all of us."

Answer - That statement is a diversion. Allowing gays and lesbians to marry does not "redefine marriage" because they are not forcing heterosexuals to engage in gay marriage.

Comedy time - Five Red Flags Signs to 'Down Low Men'

It's the weekend, so I'm going to have a little fun.

The following video is a comical example of the dangers of not discussing lgbts issues in the African-American community.

A while back, a black gay man, J.L. King, wrote a book talking about "down low" black men, or black men who are secretly gay while maintaining a heterosexual facade.

The book was featured on Oprah and all hell broke loose, as it does in all situations of ridiculous moral panics.

African-Americans (particularly black women) practically flipped out over the real notion that there is such thing as closeted gay men. Fueling the madness was the now debunked belief that these men were causing the HIV rate to go up in the black community, chiefly amongst black women.

Seminars, books, and talk shows spread across the country supposedly giving tips about how to "detect down low men." Strangely enough, the idea of having a real conversation about homophobia in the black community never crossed the mind of these "concerned individuals."

The following video is an example of this insanity. According to this lady on the video, the red flags of "down low men" are men who:

don't check their nails palm down,

chew gum loudly,

chooses to blow something out of a man's eye,

pronounce their "esses better than a rattlesnake,"

and fart silently. Apparently a heterosexual man's fart is supposed to make noise.

No disrespect to the lady in this video, but I think she is serious:

Know Your LGBT History - Gimme A Break

Gimme a Break was a long-running 80s situation comedy featuring Tony and Emmy-award winner Nell Carter as a woman who is taking care of a California chief of police (Dolph Sweet) and his three daughters as a promise to a dying friend.

It got some criticism early in its run because of the implication that Carter was playing the stereotypical sassy black maid in the spirit of Beulah. However, Carter's timing and comic talents gave this television show its life.

The episodes varied from outrageous comedy to serious issues, such as the one featured in this week's post, The Chief's Gay Evening.

During a stakeout, featuring unfortunately a man in drag (couldn't they have gotten a woman police officer), the chief discovers that one of his officers is gay (not the guy in drag, by the way). What follows is a conversation about stereotypes and the damage they do.

I found the episode to be dated in terms of comedy, but still useful in showing young lgbts what the community had to deal with in the 80s. However, there was one thing I really liked about this episode. The gay man (Eugene Roche) stood up for himself without "begging for tolerance." There was no shame nor weakness in his portrayal.

Ironically, Carter appears only at the beginning and ending of this episode, which is a shame. When the actress died in 2003 of diabetes, it was discovered that she was in a long-term relationship with another woman, Ann Kaser. They were raising her two adopted sons together:







Past Know Your LGBT History Posts:

NOM threatening New York lawmakers and other Friday midday news briefs

Faith Groups Campaign to Block Gay Marriage - I believe the phrase "it's on now" is very apt here. A portion of the article which stands out is the following:

As in past years, the local religious opposition to same-sex marriage will have the support of a Washington-based national political lobby, the National Organization for Marriage, which formed in 2007 to fight same-sex legislation around the country. That organization was behind the April 12 blitz of automated phone calls singling out voters in about a dozen Senate and Assembly districts where legislators have said they are undecided. Brian Brown, the group’s president, said the calls urged voters to tell lawmakers they opposed same-sex marriage.

“We spent over half a million dollars in New York” in 2009, he said, “and we’re ready to spend that and more this time. We are willing to spend a million against any Republican senator who votes for gay marriage.”

Bear in mind that Brown and NOM are the same folks who have called the lgbt community "bullies" for causing the law firm King & Spalding to change its mind and elect not to defend DOMA in the courts. But it's okay cause NOM is "bullying for Jesus."

New York's organized opposition: Defending sanctity of preconceived monologues - Meanwhile, the New York Family Research Foundation is erasing dissenting comments from its facebook page to make it seem that all of those responding are on board with its anti-marriage equality stance.

Uganda’s “Kill The Gays” Bill May Be Fast Tracked For A Vote - Meanwhile, things just nastier in Uganda.

Clovis school district approves application for gay-straight alliance club - Victory!

Governor signs bill to end discrimination - Another bit of good news from Hawaii

A Houston tragedy the religious right won't tell you about

Mom: 'I Lost My Son Because I'm a Lesbian': MyFoxHOUSTON.com

This is a sad story coming out of Houston, TX.

According to Sharon Laverne Fuller, she lost custody of her son, William Fuller, a decade ago to his father, Rev. Tracy Burleson, because she is a lesbian.

This loss led to a chain of events which now sees her son and his father on trial in a murder-for-hire plot in which the ex-husband allegedly hired the son to murder his present wife, Patricia Burleson.

Burleson was found shot dead in her driveway a year ago.

And the kicker?

Also on trial is Tyonne Palmer, a woman who allegedly both men (the father and the son) had a sexual relationship with.

The point here is not to bash two-parent heterosexual households, even though if this had happened in same-sex household, the National Organization for Marriage, the Family Research Council, and various religious right groups would trot it out as a way to criticize same-sex families.

Ms. Fuller say it best herself in this interview. You see, at the time of the custody hearing, even her family supported her son's father:

They said that God told them to do that. And my question now is: did God change his mind?”

The point here is a basic question - in the history of the world, what has caused more death, destruction, and basic havoc? Lgbts or people thinking that they know what God wants?

By the way, Fuller has moved back to Houston to aid in her son's defense.

You know how "selfish" lgbt parents are.

Editor's note - The original post inaccurately stated that Ms. Fuller was once married to Burleson.