Love makes a family, not talking points

Impact Magazine just ran an awesome story from Rob Waston, director of Partners and Alliances Communication for Hitachi Data Systems and who also blogs at evoL.

The story by Waston talks about his two sons who he and his partner fostered and then adopted. Excellent read through and through. I especially liked this part:

As I look at my sons, I am filled with the awareness of a love for each that I could never fathom in my wildest imagination previously.  The love I have for each is unique, each powerful in its own right, but its own “color” if you will.   Jason is the son of my heart, Jesse is the son of my soul.

Today they act as twins.  Since he is physically bigger, they have decided that Jesse is the “big brother”.  Since he was born four months earlier, Jason has been dubbed, by mutual consent, as the “older brother”.   We do not have a “little brother” in the family.

That is how two little best friends became brothers.  It is how my gay family came together.  We have a unique story, but we are not unique.  All same-gendered parent families have a story.  While my friend at the airport was right, “all ways can be hard”, all ways can also be miraculous, loving and intensely wonderful.

How our families come together is being judged today, and in the next few months.  It will be judged by the US Supreme Court.  Our families are likely to be judged long after that as well, no matter what the results.

And, no matter what the judgments on our value, I will always know the truth.  I know how thoroughly REAL we are.  I live it and I have seen it.

All of the nonsense in the world dragged about by Maggie Gallagher, Brian Brown, and that bunch at NOM can never compete with that.  It reminds one that family doesn't necessarily always come from biological ties.

But those who create families through biological ties and those who don't should never think that their families are in competition with each other. Rather, they are kindred spirit because they both share the ability and desire to love and sacrifice.

And more often than not, that's all you need.


 

'So God Made a Gay Man' and other Thursday midday news briefs

Stunning video! I love it! Okay my lesbian, bisexual, and transgender brothers and sisters, the ball is in your court. I would love to see an equally powerful video created by one of you. 

In other news:

37 Senators Call On Obama To Ban Anti-LGBT Bias By Contractors - So do it already! I'm sure that Obama will as soon as he gets his religious right flame retardant suit ready.

 Illinois ‘Family’ Group: Gays Shouldn’t Even Be Teaching, Let Alone Marrying - Some folks really need to get over their homophobia.

  Olympic Wrestling Canceled Because Of Gay Conspiracy, Russian Coach Claims - Claiming that gays plotted to eliminate wrestling from the Olympic Games is the single most clueless thing I have heard in a while for so many reasons besides the belief that gay men enjoy watching men in tight outfights slam-bamming each other on a mat.

Anti-gay Indiana teacher gets parodied in brutal video

In the controversy involving Sullivan High School in Indiana and the situation involving the supposed "traditional, no gays allowed" alternative prom, Diana Medley the special education teacher who spoke on the side of those wanting that prom (Medley is not employed at Sullivan High School) has taken a huge amount of the criticism.

Petitions have been passed around asking that she be dismissed, comment after comment have been written about her. And the final indignity? The video above parodies her absolutely vicious comments about gays, particularly gay youth.

The reason for all of the animus directed at Medley is simple.  Think Progress puts it like this:

Of course Medley has the right to her fraudulent, offensive beliefs, but she also has an obligation to the safety and well-being of students that she supervises. As a special ed teacher, she is likely working with students who are already vulnerable to bullying because of their physical, mental, or learning disabilities. By publicly stating that an entire group of students don’t have a purpose in life, she compromises her trust as an educator.

I would also like to add that to many older gays, Medley touched a nerve because perhaps she reminded them of the times they were bullied in school. Perhaps to them, Medley represents the teacher or principal who stood by and let it happen and then afterwards blamed them for their treatment by saying that they needed to supposedly "act normal."

 

NOM attacking same-sex families with tacky graphic

Number one on the Top Ten Chart of Tackiness is the above graphic by the National Organization for Marriage.

It's pathetic on so many levels. At least allow me to count off three:

1. It attacks same-sex families

2. It blames same-sex families for the single-parent homes and takes President Obama's words out of context. At no time has President Obama ever blamed same-sex households for fatherless homes. Jeremy Hooper said the following:

When President Obama uttered those words, he was referring to the very specific problems of dads who played a role in creating a family only to abdicate responsibility. That is an issue—one that we should solve. Same goes for when mothers step out on families that they should support. In an ideal climate, we could all agree on this.

 In a less politicized world, we could hope that all human beings would take responsibility for whatever family form they, by virtue of their own choices, created.
 
But in the aggressive world that NOM is forcing on us all? Gays are the scapegoat. Our families come at an expense. A penis and a vagina are innately better than a doubled set (regardless of any other qualities attached to the genitalia). Homes like mine are on par (or worse than) ones where a father walks out on his children. And of course our President cannot make a strong statement about

3. It underscores the simple fact that other than attacking same-sex households and attempting to inaccurately attach them to the problem of fatherless homes, the National Organization for Marriage has done NOTHING to address the problem or provide solutions. If anything, NOM is exploiting the problem of fatherless homes to attack same-sex families.

But one good thing does come out of NOM's graphic. It exposes just how low the organization will stoop to attack same-sex families and households.

Hat tip to Jeremy Hooper.

Why gay community will win the fight for marriage equality

I really believe that when it's said and done, the lgbt community will win the marriage equality fight. Marriage equality is about fairness, love, and equality. And let's face it, though our opposition is well-connected and has much money,  it will be their rhetoric in opposing our right to marry each other which will be part of their undoing. Especially when one compares their hyperbolic rhetoric to the reality:

Glenn T. Stanton of Focus on the Family: "This is a really pernicious lie of Satan to say that the gender part of humanity doesn’t really matter because the gender part of humanity is really denying the distinct God imaging in each of us as males and females. We need to understand that as Christians. That’s the biggest thing. The other is that, ‘you know kids don’t really need a mom and a dad they just need any configuration of loving adults who care for them,’ . . . As a good friend of mine says, ‘you know a lot of these people advocating for same-sex marriage, I’ve been in the marriage work for decades, I’ve never seen these people come to the stump to advocate for marriage, the only time they are for marriage is when it has same-sex in front of it.’ Think about that. These are not advocates of marriage; they’re advocates for redefining marriage."


Reality:

Jonathan Mintz, John Feinblatt and their daughters celebrate their wedding ceremony.

Mat Staver, The Liberty Counsel: "Basically marriage will be completely destroyed, families will be destroyed, children will be hurt by this and freedom of speech and freedom of religion, including in the pulpit itself, will absolutely be bulldozed over. This would open a floodgate of unimaginable proportions. That’s why with those kinds of consequences to have five of the nine justices ultimately have this kind of power in their hands, that’s not how this court and this country was established, to have five individuals to be able to have that kind of catastrophic, social re-engineering power in their hands, that’s just not something that was envisioned by the founders."



Reality:

72-year-old Byron and 86-year-old Phillipe, a couple who have been together for 51 years, poses at their wedding.

Gordon Klingenschmitt, anti-gay activist and "exorcist" - "Every kid deserves a mom and dad. We must defend traditional marriage. Sadly, Obama equates sin with holiness, confusing lust with love, thereby confusing the demonic with the Holy Spirit, when Satan can never be equal with God. There is one reason homosexual sodomy will never be "equal" to traditional marriage: Satan will never be equal to God."

 
 Reality:

Luz Heurtelo and Natassia Heurtelo before their wedding in Brooklyn.

I could say more, but is there any need? One side spins tales of revolution, destruction, and Satanic possession. And the other side simply shows basic love. Sure, I am preaching to the choir with this post but people forget that sometimes a choir needs practice and in this case, our choir needs to remember that we have beautiful voices which sound like angels when we sing together in harmony.

Lastly, we need to remember what  we are singing for.

Love, honey. The most powerful emotion in the universe.

Photos, captions courtesy of Buzzfeed.

Hat tip to Right Wing Watch for the religious right quotes.

Family Research Council angry at Obama for cleaning up its mess

FRC's Tony Perkins

As to be expected, the Family Research Council didn't care for President Obama's State of the Union address.

The organization particularly didn't care for the part where President Obama mentioned equal treatment for same-sex military couples. FRC especially didn't like the announcement before the SOTU speech that the Pentagon would be giving some benefits to these same-sex couples. And the brazen hypocrisy in which FRC engages in to criticize this will astound you:

 . . . Hours before his State of the Union address, the commander-in-chief gave his Pentagon the thumbs up to hundreds of thousands of dollars in new spending for homosexual partner perks. Starting August 31, the same-sex boyfriends and girlfriends of service members will be eligible for privileges that even cohabiting heterosexuals are not: military ID cards, access to military commissaries, gymnasiums, and movie theaters, participation in family support programs on bases and posts, and the chance to fly on Defense Department aircraft on the taxpayers' dime.

For a liberal movement so intent on policing discrimination, this policy is full of it! The U.S.government has decided that what you do in the bedroom qualifies you for federally-subsidized benefits (unless you happen to be heterosexual, like 96.6% of the U.S. population). Once again, it's exclusion in the name of "inclusion." Under this policy, Washington is officially in the business of incentivizing homosexual behavior in our military--an observation that appalls veterans like Senator Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.).

"The President is eroding our military's apolitical stance and forcing conformity onto the rest of society by pushing his liberal social agenda through the Department of Defense. In a weak attempt to not violate the Defense of Marriage Act, the administration is using a play on words by saying 'same sex domestic partners' can have access to benefits instead of 'spouses.'"

What's more, Sen. Inhofe points out, America is on a "slippery slope" with this kind of preferential treatment. "Why would the DOD extend benefits to same-sex partners and then deny cohabiting heterosexual couples the same benefits? The Department of Defense is essentially creating a new class of beneficiary that will increase costs and demand for limited resources that are currently available for military families, active and reserve forces, and retirees.

Why indeed would the DOD extend benefits to same-sex partners and then deny cohabiting heterosexual couples the same benefits?

Maybe because the cohabiting heterosexual couples generally have the option to get married, whereas the same-sex couples do not have that same option in most cases.

Also while some states offer same-sex couples the option of marriage, there is that annoying little pesky law called DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) which precludes the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages.

And here is the kicker. Anti-gay activist Robert Knight helped to craft DOMA while he was an employee of the Family Research Council.

In other words:

• FRC is claiming that the Obama Administration is discriminating against cohabiting heterosexual couples by offering same-sex couples benefits that cohabiting heterosexual couples cannot receive.

• However, the reason why these benefits had to be given is because by law, the federal government cannot recognize the marriages of same-sex couples no matter if these marriages are legal via state law.

• And the reason why the federal government cannot recognize these marriages is because of DOMA, a law which was partly crafted by an FRC employee.

It's not the Obama Administration which is practicing discrimination. If anything, the Obama Administration is cleaning up the mess that the FRC helped to become law.

The sad irony is that while FRC dismissively refers to same-sex couples as "boyfriends" and "girlfriends," it is because of efforts like groups like FRC that these couples aren't considered to be more than that by the federal government.

It's the equivalent of criticizing someone for being in a hole while omitting the fact that you are the one who put them there in the first place.

NOM's silly spokesperson attacks gay families again

Per usual, members of the religious right are attacking gay parenting (again). Jennifer Morse of NOM's Ruth Institute is talking to conservative host Michael Brown and proceeds to go on a ridiculous tangent about parenting in which she spouts very little facts. Her rambling starts at 2:00 of this clip:

 

Here are just a few things I noticed. I'm sure you can add more:

At 2:20 - Morse says that there needs to be more recruitment of adoptive parents coming from the mother/father dynamic. That's a good point which she brings up because as far as I know, NOM has NEVER undertaken any attempt or pushed any legislation to do this.

2:25 - Morse says that since American couples "go all over the world" to find children to adopt, including children of different races and handicaps so she does not believe that there is a shortage of homes to adopt children. Funny how she doesn't cite any statistics.

Fact: According to Adam Pertman, head of the Evan Donaldson Adoption Institute:

More than 104,000 children in the United States are waiting in foster care to be adopted by permanent, loving parents. These girls and boys, who are on average 8 years old, typically remain in temporary situations for over three years before being placed with "forever families."

Then Morse goes into a spiel which folks on her side the argument have done before and very few of us have called them out -  pitting heterosexual two-parent families against gay parents. She makes it seem that society is favoring gay parenting supposedly traditional heterosexual parenting, when in fact there has never been any competition regarding gay or heterosexual parents, except for in the talking points of folks like Morse.

She then claims that one cannot compare same-sex parenting to heterosexual parenting without going into detail as to why. Of course Morse is contradicted by many credible health organizations including the American Psychological Association and the National Association of Social Workers.

Everything else Morse says is purely blather and nonsense which has nothing to do with the reality of gays raising children.

And the religious right can't seem to figure out why they lose the vast majority of court cases involving gay adoption.